


Control

by bigwolfpup



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Betrayal, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, F/M, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Injury, Internal Conflict, M/M, Physical Abuse, Polyamorous Relationships, Secret Relationship, Sith AU, more tags to come as the fic updates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-09-02 05:14:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 30,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8652373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigwolfpup/pseuds/bigwolfpup
Summary: Obi-Wan had grown up around the Sith Empire. All he has ever known is the Sith. But as a desperate need arises between the Sith Lords, Obi-Wan is given a special assignment, one that he is not fond of until he sees the true colors of the plan. Along the way, his love for the Dark Side is challenged by a young Jedi the same age as him. He was told to stay loyal to the Sith, but can he really do it when his love for the Jedi feels so much stronger?ON HIATUS





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This fic will not have regular updates. However I will try to update quickly after each chapter is out.

 

He hadn’t been brought into the world in what one would call a normal setting. His birthplace had been on Mustafar. A fiery planet with people who were not, to say the least, very sociable with outsiders. Two inhabitants of Stewjon had made an emergency stop on the planet while on their way back home. An older man accompanied them, a family friend with silver hair and many lines on his face that showed experience. The two inhabitants were a couple, lovers, mates, and they had been expecting their second child for several months. Their eldest had been left at home to continue with his studies when the couple left.

The child was named Obi-Wan Kenobi, the second son born to Sera and Brickenn Kenobi. With Obi-Wan having been born on Mustafar, it was dangerous to move the child to Stewjon, from a different temperature other than the warmth he had been birthed into. Therefore, Sera and Brickenn made the decision to stay of Mustafar until the boy was one year old. Obi-Wan’s older brother, Owen, had traveled to Mustafar to live with his family there, though he had greatly disapproved.

The family moved back to Stewjon on Obi-Wan’s first birthday, and once there his midichlorian count was tested by a few visiting Jedi, as the man who had accompanied Sera and Brickenn has a suspicion that the Force was strong in the boy. As it turned out, the count was higher than any normal species in the universe, however, it was rather low in terms of Jedi standards.

As Obi-Wan grew up, he was surrounded by the Force, and yet he was never taken in by the Jedi because of his low midichlorian count. He was always reminded of how he could have been a Jedi, and yet, he had never wanted the ways of the Jedi. His desire was in something else, something more powerful that was only taught to him by his tutor, the old man with the silver hair. Count Dooku.

Dooku was a master of the Dark side. Obi-Wan had always known this, as he was the only one in his family who was Force sensitive. Even Owen did not know of the danger that lurked in the shadows of the family. Obi-Wan embraced the way Dooku invaded his mind sometimes, pushing his mind and control to the limit until he was left gasping for breath on the ground. He needed work, that much was sure, but he was determined to build up his barriers and become powerful in the ways of the Force.

When the time was right, Dooku took Obi-Wan to a place that not many new about. It was a place that was only known to those who had a connection to the Force. The connection wasn’t just one that one strong in the Force had. No, this was one of dark ambition, of the desire for power, and one that only belonged to the Sith. Of course, Obi-Wan was not a young man of either side of the Force. He had not been taken by the Jedi to become a knight, and yet Dooku had not taken advantage of him and pulled him to the Dark side. Dooku was smarter than that. Any member of the Sith was never forced to be a part of the Sith, and if Obi-Wan was to be a member of the Sith, he would become one on his own time.

The place they traveled to was the Sith planet, Korriban. It was the old location of the mighty Sith empire, though its rulers and advisors long gone, their bodies buried in the dry ground and their voices crying out in the howling wind and flying dust. It was the perfect training place for aspiring Sith, thus why Dooku took the young man from Stewjon to Korriban.

Obi-Wan was only 14 when he had his first real experience with the power of the Sith. Dooku had put him on Korriban in the Valley of the Dark Lords and let him face the memories of the old Sith on his own. It was such a huge amount of power trying to tear him down, and it gave him such a rush that it inspired his thinking towards the Sith. From that point on, Obi-Wan was swayed to support the Dark side. His mind was on nothing else but aiding the Sith in their plans.

Sadly, his decision hurt the relationship with his family. Owen was more swayed to the Light, to the ways of the Jedi, so when Obi-Wan returned with Dooku from Korriban, the brother was very put off by the darker aura surrounding Obi-Wan. The young redhead walked with a new confidence that made his parents nervous whenever he was near.

Soon after their return, Dooku took Obi-Wan as his apprentice. Taking the title of apprentice, Obi-Wan gained his first lightsaber. The crimson blade hummed gloriously the first time he ignited it, the force of the ignition kicking back his hand slightly. The light of the blade reflected in his grey-blue eyes, and such passion shone in them that Dooku had chuckled and patted Obi-Wan on the back. He had a glorious future ahead of him as a Sith, and it was clear he was eager to do any bidding he was given. Yes, Obi-Wan Kenobi was going to be a great Sith.

When Obi-Wan turned 16, he and Dooku returned to Korriban to train for a couple months. Obi-Wan’s return was almost glorified by the old Sith planet, as the Force around it seemed to weaken when he set foot on the surface. Though his complete transformation to Sith hadn’t occurred yet, his grey-blue eyes glancing around slowly, his stance and the way he carried himself screamed power and authority. Even Dooku caught himself worrying about what his apprentice might do to him.

In the last week of training, there came a desperate call from Owen. He rarely ever called Obi-Wan, so when the call came, it caught the young redhead of guard. As it turned out, the brothers’ parents had been murdered, caught in a fire that was clearly planned out.

The rage that built up inside Obi-Wan was powerful and dangerous, and Dooku saw it as an opportunity to secure the boy’s loyalty in the Sith. It was the perfect opportunity, and Obi-Wan soon grew stronger in the Dark Side than Dooku could have ever imagined.

But still, Obi-Wan’s eyes stayed their beautiful grey-blue he had been born with. The look was troublesome to not only Dooku, but others in the Sith order who had been supporting Obi-Wan since the first day of his training. It was time for a change in training.

 


	2. Chapter 2

“Master, do I really have to go through this all again? I’ve been on this regimen for months now.”

“Patience, my young apprentice.” Dooku looked at his apprentice from the far side of the room, illuminated in a soft red glow from the lava rivers flowing just outside. “All this training will be for the better good of the Sith.

Obi-Wan, now 18 years old, snorted and rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. He sported a think head of red hair, bangs sweeping out over his eyes and in a slight upwards fashion. The beginnings of a beard speckled his face, along with freckles over the bridge of his nose and on his cheeks. His blue-grey eyes stood out against his black robes.

“Patience… what a Jedi thing to say, Master.”

“Indeed, it is… Now, go through the routine again. I need to see that you are ready.”

“I am ready, Master. I’ve been ready for the past year.”

“Obi-Wan. Do the routine now.”

Dooku’s voice was sharp and demanding. Obi-Wan didn’t dare disobey him over something as small as a training regimen.

Going through the routine for probably the hundredth time that day, Obi-Wan kept a scowl on his face, imagining he was cutting off the heads of some of the most esteemed Jedi Masters in the history of the universe. He knew Dooku was listening to his thoughts, so he kept himself from being too distracted by his imagination.

In the next instant, Obi-Wan found the ground inches from his face, Dooku having used the Force to trip him up and cause him to fall. The young man groaned and covered his face with his arms, openly cursing Dooku as he laid there. “You’re the worst master there is.”

“No, I’m teaching you to have a clear head. Quit day dreaming and start over.”

“Start over?!”

Obi-Wan got a glare that made his blood run cold. “Okay… okay. I’ll do it again.”

Over and over, Obi-Wan performed the routine, until finally he ended with his chest heaving, and Dooku gave him an approving nod. “Very good, my apprentice. You have proven to me you are ready.” He turned on his heel and motioned for Obi-Wan to follow.

“Wait… I’m ready _now_? But I just did the same thing I’ve been doing for months.”

“Yes, I know.”

Obi-Wan waited for more, but his master was walking out of the room already, and he ran to catch up, retracting the blade of his lightsaber and clipping it onto his belt. “So you’re not going to tell me why I’m suddenly ready today?”

“Patience, Obi-Wan.”

“Stop telling me to have patience! I get it!”

Dooku stopped and grabbed Obi-Wan’s chin roughly. “No, you _don’t_ get it. Otherwise, you’d be shutting up and listening instead of complaining.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes widened, feeling the deep hum of the Force rattle inside his head so much it almost gave him a headache. He only nodded, too afraid to speak against his master any more.

Dooku released him with an extra shove at the release, which came as no surprise to Obi-Wan. He was used to being abused and violated by his master. Hardly any other Sith saw it as inappropriate. It was just how the relationships between Sith Lord and apprentice were.

“You will obey me, Obi-Wan. No more complaining about this.” He turned to walked once more, the now more obedient and frankly scared Obi-Wan following him with his head hung low in shame. “We are going to speak in front of the Dark Lord. You are to listen only and accept what he has to say to you. Do you understand, my apprentice?”

“Yes, Master…”

Obsidian hallways made their boots click loudly as they made their way to the Dark Lord’s chamber. It was called his chamber, but it was a throne room. The tall throne that he sat on was made of the same rock the halls were made of, and it had a glow to it that was almost unnatural. It was heated by the lava rivers flowing through and outside of the building. Obi-Wan had fantasized about sitting on that throne one day. Dooku had scolded him for doing so, but that didn’t stop him from dreaming about it at night. Thoughts could be controlled. Dreams could not.

At last they reached the tall, dark doors to the room. Dooku knocked lightly, but it echoed for several moments. They both could feel the immense amounts of dark power flowing from the room, and the amount increased and flooded over them when the doors opened slightly, allowing them access.

Obi-Wan had never been this close to the Dark Lord. It was intimidating, and he put up barriers in his mind to prevent himself from thinking about trying to assassinate him.

His face was covered with a cloak, preventing Obi-Wan from seeing his face. Still, without seeing the no doubt glowing yellow eyes of the Dark Lord, Obi-Wan could feel his knees shake being in the presence of the most powerful Sith in the galaxy. He couldn’t even bring himself to look up when Dooku left his side to sit on the left side of the Dark Lord. Darth Maul, a man hardly much older than Obi-Wan himself, was seated on the right.

“Obi-Wan Kenobi,” the Dark Lord’s rough voice spoke slowly. “It has come to my attention that your training has been very successful.” There was a pause. “Lift your head, child. You don’t need to be scared of me, unless you have something to hide from me.”

Hesitantly, Obi-Wan did lift his head to look up at the Dark Lord, clearing his mind fully.

“That’s a good boy. Now, turn around for me.”

Slightly put off by the request, Obi-Wan turned in place slowly, careful not to let his thoughts take over, as he was sure that the Dark Lord was picking his mind piece by piece. When he faced the man once more, he felt almost as violated as when Dooku picked at his mind.

“Good, good… you are quite a handsome young man. More handsome that I originally thought. That will be good for our plan.” The Dark Lord leaned forward with a wide smile.

“Plan for what?” Obi-Wan couldn’t stop himself quick enough to let the question slip his lips, and once it was out, he covered his mouth and looked at Dooku. His master was giving him a very hard, disapproving glare.

“Obi-Wan, I told you not to speak…”

“Don’t be so hard on your apprentice, Tyranus,” The Dark Lord said with a chuckle. “The boy is curious. He deserves to know what’s going to happen to him in the future.”

Nervous glances were given to both Dooku and the Dark Lord from Obi-Wan. He was sure he would get yelled at as soon as he and his master were in closer quarters.

“Come now, young Obi. You’re not in trouble for speaking against me, I promise.” The Dark Lord beckoned Obi-Wan closer. “You are going to be very useful to the Sith Empire soon. I need to know if you are up for the challenge.”

“…Challenge of what, my Lord?” Obi-Wan swallowed hard, stopping the shiver that kept wanting to run through his body.

“The challenge of becoming a spy. You are the perfect apprentice for the job.”

“A spy? Where am I to be a spy?”

“The Jedi temple on Coruscant. You will train to become a Jedi there.”

Obi-Wan was offended. Become a Jedi? After working for years on his training to become a Sith Lord? What could have been more insulting?

You want me? To become a Jedi?! How the hell is that going to help the Sith empire?!”

“Obi-Wan! You will silence yourself right now!” Dooku was now standing up, threatening Obi-Wan with his whole being.

The Dark Lord wasn’t smiling anymore. In fact, he had a very disappointed scowl on his face now. “You are the easiest to become a Jedi. You are still very early in your training. We will be making sure that your loyalty stays with the Sith, however. You with become a Jedi as a spy. Nothing more, but you’ll have to make it look convincing.”

“I’m a purebred Sith, my Lord! I can never become a Jedi! I can’t do what you are asking of me!”

“You will do as I say, young Obi-Wan. You are not allowed to oppose. Not with your rank. Do I make myself clear?”

The room hummed heavily with the Force, and a small cry came from Obi-Wan as he collapsed to the floor holding his head in pain. Never had his mind been picked this thoroughly before, and it hurt like a thousand suns burning into his skull. He couldn’t do anything but whimper pathetically before his master and Dark Lord of the Sith.

Finally the pain and the hum subsided, and Obi-Wan was allowed to breathe properly again, though tears were in the corners of his eyes.

“Now, do you understand me, boy? You are to obey me and your master on this mission.”

“…I-I understand… my Lord.” Obi-Wan got on his knees and bowed as low as he could, making himself small.

“Good. You are not needed anymore. You may leave.”

“And my master?”

“Tyranus is staying with me. You may go back to your quarters and await his return.”

Obi-Wan stood up slowly, afraid he might upset his master or the Dark Lord any more. “Thank you, my Lord.” He turned and left the room, walking rigidly until he was out the door, and the heavy black doors were shut behind him. He took off in a dear sprint, fear flooding his mind as his master sent a wave of anger and rage at him through their bond.

Hell was going to be raised when Dooku returned from the throne room.

 

-x-x-x-

 

Obi-Wan paced in his room. He walked a familiar line in the room that had been trod several times before. There was even a worn path into the black floor where he had paced before.

His bond with Dooku was silent and dead. He feared the worst was about to come. There was no way Dooku would be happy with him. Not after what he had said to the Dark Lord himself. That damned Dark Lord…

Be mindful of your thoughts, Obi-Wan told himself. Wow, how Jedi of him.

He sighed. The Dark Lord wanted him to become as spy as a Jedi. Surely new information would come out soon so he would know exactly why he was wanted to become a knight of the Light side. But still, it felt like a kick to the gut. It was revolting to become a Jedi, after years and years of training to become a Sith Lord. What could the Sith Empire possibly hope to gain from him becoming a Jedi? Did they just want to get rid of him? Did they hate him? Did they see too much good in him still? It was impossible. Obi-Wan was dark down to his core. Ever since his parents had been murdered, his anger was more powerful than ever before. In fact, the anger had been so strong that Obi-Wan had suspected his older brother to be the murderer, thus a plan to one day kill him was set in place.

The doors to Obi-Wan’s quarters opened up with a bang, anger and hate pouring into the room as Dooku entered. He was furious, there was no doubt about that. Obi-Wan jumped and cowered in fear in the corner on his bed. There was no avoiding his punishment now, but he still didn’t want it.

“Obi-Wan, you disobeyed me,” Dooku said, his words icy cold.

“I know, Master, but I just―”

“Silence, Obi-Wan! I told you to be quiet and listen to what the Dark Lord had to say, and yet you opened your mouth like a stupid child.”

“Please, Master!”

“Keep talking back, Obi-Wan, and you’ll end up with your limbs cut off!”

Obi-Wan shut his mouth and his eyes, curling up into a tight ball. He knew what was coming. He could feel it. Dooku’s hand was drifting towards his lightsaber, and it was not going to end very pretty.

“Look at me when I’m speaking to you!” The ‘saber was in his hand and ignited.

“Master, I didn’t mean to!”

“Like Hell, you didn’t mean it! Get up and stand in front of me right now.”

Reluctantly, Obi-Wan got up and stood in front of his master, trembling in fear and tensing up, ready for the pain that was about to spread through his body. He felt himself stiffen up more, Dooku having used the Force to keep him in place.

“This will teach you to obey me from now on.”

The lightsaber was raised into the air, then came down upon Obi-Wan’s face.

A terrible screech could be heard echoing in the halls of the palace on Mustafar, the birth place of a Sith destined to be a ruler like none other in the history of the galaxy.

 

-x-x-x-

 

Obi-Wan knew he would regret disobeying his master, but there was an odd sense of satisfaction once his punishment was over. He had done bad, like any Sith should do. Yes, he was still young and learning, but he had disobeyed his master, and wasn’t that one of the finer points of being a Sith? Being bad was in his veins. So why was he being punished for it.

With a sigh, Obi-Wan sat up on his bed. A large bandage covered his left eye and cheek. The damage done to him was minimal compared to what Dooku had threatened to do, but it still hurt. There was no doubt going to be a scar all across his face, but he would live. At least he still had all of his limbs.

He looked around his room. It was a simple room, all four walls made of the same material as the floors and the hallways in the palace. His bed that he sat on was in the corner of the room right up against the walls, and a small area rug sat on the floor, as black as everything else in the room. There was a small window up high that let in a very small amount of natural light that was produced on calm nights on Mustafar.

A chuckle rose up from Obi-Wan’s throat. He grabbed his lightsaber and ignited it, the room illuminated in a crimson glow.

“I’ll show you disobeying, Master. You’ve got another thing coming for you very, very soon…”

Now that he thought about it, maybe becoming a Jedi wouldn’t be so bad after all. It would give him the ability to fight Dooku with more skills that he ever imagined having.  He’d have the high ground. He’d have the upper hand. Dooku wouldn’t know what hit him. Sith powers and Jedi powers? Well, that sounded just about like the best thing ever.

“Yeah… I’ll show you. I’ll show the whole Sith Empire. I’ll be on that throne before you know it.”


	3. Chapter 3

Not much sleep was to be had that night. The screams of the young, disobeying apprentice echoed in the minds of nearly every Sith in the palace. To some, the screams were sweet music, and to the rest, it was merely background noise. Proud as the Sith were, they didn’t give one hoot about an apprentice who had disobeyed his master.

Lucky for Obi-Wan, most of the Sith he passed in the morning payed no attention to his bandaged face. His dark robes flowed smoothly around him as he headed to his master’s quarters for his morning sparring. Something felt off as he reached the door, raising his hand to knock. There was, oddly enough, little activity coming from Dooku’s end of their bond through the Force. In fact, it was completely silent. Whether it be from the previous night’s punishment or something entirely different, Obi-Wan knew that he was still in trouble because of his behavior, and maybe Dooku was still mad with him.

Mad enough to sever their bond.

Obi-Wan shuddered to think that Dooku would do that to him. He certainly seemed like the type of man who would do it, but he wouldn’t really cut off the bond because of disobedience, would he?

The door opened, and there stood Obi-Wan’s master, looking very sleep deprived. “Report to the Dark Lord this morning, Obi-Wan. He has more information on your assignment.”

“Yes, Master.” The apprentice turned on his heel and headed to the main chamber of the Dark Lord. He half expected Dooku to call after him, but there was nothing more his master had to say to him, which was fine. Obi-Wan wasn’t in the mood to fight that morning, anyways.

Upon arriving to the large doors once again, Obi-Wan swallowed. He was more hesitant to knock on this door than he was to knock on Dooku’s. Still, he had to do it. The Dark Lord had more information. So he raised his hand and knocked on the door, allowing it to open fully before he stepped in with a confident stride. The bandages on his face gave him a rougher, older look about him, and he could feel the pleasing vibes coming off of the Dark Lord of the Sith.

“Obi-Wan, you are looking most confident this morning. I take it last night went well?”

“Could have been worse,” was all Obi-Wan replied with.

“Ah, yes. It certainly could have been. But I told your master to go easy on you. You still need to be in one piece for your assignment. Roughing you up a little will be good for you. It will make you look more convincing.”

Obi-Wan kneeled in front of his Lord, his cape he decided to wear that day billowing around him as he kneeled. “I am your tool, my Lord. Use me as you see fit.”

A deep chuckle filled the room. “Very good, Obi-Wan. Very good, indeed. Now, listen closely to me. I will tell you what your mission is for this assignment.”

Obi-Wan rose to his feet. “I’m listening.”

“You are going to arrive on the steps of the temple at daybreak, just as the sun rises and the older Jedi come out to check the perimeter. There they will find you in a heap, a bloody mess in civilian clothes, and you will claim to have been attacked by a Sith Lord. That will be what you think happened, and the Jedi will take you in as one of their own. They will clean you up and clothe you as they see fit. From that point on, they will see that you are sensitive in the Force, and they will begin to train you as a Jedi. You will start as a youngling, then a padawan learner, being taken under the wings of a master. For now, that is all you will need to know, but you are to stay loyal to the Sith. Do you understand what you have to do?”

There was a pause, Obi-Wan retaining all the information he had been given. “What name am I to go under?”

“Your own. They do not have you on record. I have made sure of that.”

“So I am to go as Obi-Wan Kenobi and become a padawan learner.”

“Yes. Do you understand?”

Obi-Wan nodded. “I understand, my Lord. When am I to start?”

“In one week. You will be prepared and cleansed in that time so you do not appear to be stained by the Dark. You will appear as a Grey, in the middle of Light and Dark, and they will sway you to the Light, but be mindful of your loyalty.”

“Yes, my Lord. I will stay true to the Sith.” Obi-Wan bowed and turned to leave.

“Oh, and one more thing.”

The boy turned to face the Dark Lord once more.

“Be cautious of your eyes. I sense they will be changing color soon. When that time comes, you will need to get lenses that will change your eye color. The golden yellow of Sith eyes are hard not to notice.”

“Of course, my Lord. I will be mindful.” Obi-Wan smirked, leaving an uneasy feeling in the room as he left, the doors closing behind him.

Obi-Wan was a rather independent person. He could do things on his own easily, but he needed to be held back most times. Perhaps this was one of those times where he should have been held back. He could feel the Dark Lord’s glare on his back as he had left the room, and it was certain Dooku had listened into the meeting somehow, so they both knew that Obi-Wan was getting cocky. He was feeling like he was on top of the world. He was feeling like he could take down anyone in his way.

Of course, he had to get some training done first before any of his own plans were set into action, so he headed off to a sparring room to practice until Dooku called for him. It would be a good stress reliever, at least.

 

-x-x-x-

 

For the whole week before Obi-Wan was to leave, he was picked and broken down from the inside, barriers being put up to block any Jedi who wanted to go snooping around in his mind. He felt stronger by the end of it. He felt refreshed, and he looked the total opposite. He looked like a wreck. The bandages on his face had been removed, revealing a nasty, fresh scar that ran from his jaw to his eyebrow on the opposite side of his face. There were a few burn marks left too, but it only added to the look he possessed.

Obi-Wan had been starved as well in that week’s time. No food was given to him, and he was terribly hungry. It was, however, the least of his problems. The bond that he had created so many years ago with Dooku was officially broken now. Obi-Wan was no longer an apprentice.

A Sith. That was his title now. No longer a Sith Apprentice, he was, in fact, a Sith. The next ranking would be a Sith Marauder, and that would be when he would gain his Sith name. Obi-Wan already had an idea in mind of what he would want his name to be. It was cunning, crafty, and he felt like it suited his nature very well. However, he would not be the one to pick the name in the end. He could only suggest names, and he had already done so, right before he boarded his ship to travel to Coruscant. Maybe once his mission was over, he would be a Marauder.

All these thoughts ran through his head rather quickly as the ship took off. Traveling with him were Dooku and Maul, and neither of them were very talkative. They knew their part of the mission, and they were going to do it right the first time.

Prior to boarding the ship, Obi-Wan’s lightsaber had been taken from him, and so had his Sith robes. Instead he wore civilian clothes that were dull in color and rather itchy. Peasant clothing was what he wore. It wasn’t meant to be comfortable by any means, but it would make him look more convincing as a poor young man who was attacked by a Sith.

The trip to Coruscant was long enough that Obi-Wan could take a quick nap, or at least he could rest his eyes for a moment. Maybe it wasn’t wise for him to fall asleep before he was to be “attacked”. He needed energy, but, again, it would look more convincing if he was tired. So the choice to sleep was given up quickly, and instead, Obi-Wan resorted to watching hyperspace fly past him at the speed of light. A blue hue was cast into the ship, and Obi-Wan growled at it a little. Blue was _not_ his color.

At last, the streaks of hyperspace faded away, and the glorious view of Coruscant was before the cockpit of the ship. Obi-Wan rushed to the front where Maul and Dooku were, a large smile on his face as he grabbed the backs of both pilot seats. “Finally. I was getting tired of seeing blue all the time.”

Maul growled a little, glancing back at the young Sith. “Blue isn’t a thing that just goes away. You should know that. The sky is blue on most planets we visit.”

“So? I hate blue. It makes me feel queasy.” Obi-Wan frowned and huffed.

“Get over it.”

“Enough, you two,” Dooku said sternly, putting an end to the short argument. “We’re approaching, so get ready.”

There was no hesitation with Maul standing up and pushing past Obi-Wan roughly. The grunt from the smaller Sith was satisfying enough to put a smirk on Maul’s face.

“Kriffing prick,” Obi-Wan muttered as he followed his elder.

Though it did not take long for either to prepare and pack up their things, neither of them returned to the cockpit until they were at the docking station. Obi-Wan was the only one to actually leave the ship at that point. He was glad to get off finally, but he absolutely hated the promising sun and blue sky to follow the coming dawn of the day.

He desperately wanted to look back and see approval from his master as he slung his pack over his shoulder.

His former master.

But he had been trained to not do so, showing no hint that he was attached to anyone in the ship. He was but a simple traveler coming home from a long journey, and he felt like it too. He tried hard to actually think of Sith things, but when he tried it exhausted him, and he was sure he looked physically tired because of it. It was perfectly fine for him to look that way. All he had to do was find a secluded corner of an alley and contact Dooku once he was ready to set the plan in motion.

A little touch-up was done to Obi-Wan’s appearance. Grease was smeared into his hair to make it look dirty and disheveled, dirt and grease smeared on his face, and a touch of dark power made bruises on his face, neck and arms. As a finishing touch, a bit of fake blood was added around his mouth and nose.

Obi-Wan looked very beaten up, and it was just the way he wanted it. The tired look in his eyes really made him look like a poor beggar living off the streets of Coruscant. He couldn’t help but smile at his handiwork.

The call was made to Dooku, setting the plan in motion.

 

-x-x-x-

 

Dawn broke on the horizon of Coruscant. The enormous walls of the Jedi Temple were illuminated with glorious golden light that promised the hope of a new day.

Two older Jedi appeared outside the front doors, wrapping their robes around them in the crisp morning air. The taller of the two, human, had long hair that was partially tied back, the color a rich brown speckled with silver streaks here and there. He had a dignified look about him, but he was gentle and willing to listen to others’ problems. It was probably his flaw, but he was still seen as a great Jedi Master nonetheless.

The other was older, a Kel Dor who had seen many things in his life and was very wise. There were many experiences in those old hands of his, but he was a proud man. Every experience was a contribution to his wisdom, and he shared it daily with the younglings. Though he had no padawan to speak of, he treated each youngling as if they were under his guidance.

Together, the two Jedi were very entertaining pair to listen to when they were telling stories. They were also a great pair to be up in the mornings and check the perimeter of the temple. Mornings were their favorite time of the day. Rising up early to meditate and then check the temple seemed to really resonate with them, and none of the younglings ever understood why exactly that was. Getting up early for them was always torture. No one in the galaxy was meant to rise at the crack of dawn. Not even Master Yoda got up that early!

In any case, Masters Qui-Gon Jinn and Plo Koon still made their rounds in the morning, meditating as they walked and striking up light conversation with each other. It was such a normal routine that they didn’t expect to find a limp, bruised body on the steps of the temple

Plo was the first to see it, lightly gasping when he did. The body was not only bruised, tossed onto the steps like a rag doll, but it was also bleeding. The face was hidden by dirty clothes, but a small bit of auburn hair could be seen. As soon as Plo took a step towards the body, Qui-Gon whipped out his lightsaber and ignited it, glaring at the figure standing about 50 yards away from them.

“I was hoping the Jedi wouldn’t interfere with my catch this morning,” the figure said in a bored tone. “That runt deserves to die.”

“What in the galaxy did this poor boy do to you?” Qui-Gon got in front of Plo and the boy, eyebrows lowered in concentration.

“Why does it matter to you? I want him, so give him to me.” The black and red face of the figure pulled into a grimace, a low growl echoing off of the buildings.

“I should think not. Whatever he did, I’m sure it was only very simple.”

“Master Qui-Gon, the boy is breathing,” Plo said quietly enough so only his fellow master could hear him.

As if to prove that the boy was indeed still alive, a small groan came from his throat as he moved his arms away from his face, revealing a nasty cut running across his face with blood running from it.

“Give me the boy,” the figure said sternly. A lightsaber was revealed and ignited, the crimson blade making both Jedi Masters go on edge.

“Sith,” Qui-Gon said. “I thought they were all dead. We need backup now!”

“I won’t leave you alone with him,” Plo said sternly. “We don’t have com units.”

“All alone and vulnerable,” The figure said with a chuckle. “Just give me the boy and I’ll be on my way.”

“This youngling will not fall into the hands of a Sith! Remove yourself from this place immediately!” Qui-Gon took a step towards the Sith with his teeth bared.

Lucky for the two Jedi Masters, other Jedi happened to be passing by, and they quickly came to the rescue with their lightsabers ignited. Soon, there were several Jedi in the area, and the Sith was far too outnumbered to fight. He wasn’t going to fight all by himself. His work was done now, and he had to return to Dooku.

“I see I have lost this boy… No matter though. I will be back for him, just you wait, Jedi!” With his last words, the Sith jumped up the walls of the nearby buildings and promptly ran away swiftly. The plan was finally in motion. It was all up to Obi-Wan now.

A few of the Jedi followed the Sith in an attempt to capture him, but he was far too gone for them to catch him. Those who remained behind gathered around the boy who was barely able to stay conscious. The brilliant auburn locks of his hair were stained with the deep red of his own blood, as were his clothes. All he had with him were the clothes on his back and an empty bag that no doubt had held a little food and water. He was carefully cradled in the arms of Master Plo, his eyes barely open with his low energy levels and the bright sun shining on his face. His whole body hurt like hell, and he didn’t know anyone who was crowded around him. In confusion, he went into a slight panic, causing him to hyperventilate slightly and try to sit up with no luck.

“Relax, child,” Plo said gently. “You are safe now. That man will not hurt you any more, I promise you.”

“Bag… he attacked… took everything…”

“I know, but you are safe. You will have much more than you did before. You will be taken care of here.”

“Master Plo,” one of the other Jedi spoke up, a female Togruta. “This child…”

“Indeed, Master Shaak Ti,” Qui-Gon said. “I feel it too. He is Force sensitive.”

“We cannot teach him here. He is too old.” Plo sighed and carefully tipped the boy’s head so he could look at him. “Boy, what is your name?”

Though his breathing had slowed down, the boy was in great pain, and his face showed it. He was unable to answer Plo, for as soon as he took a breath to speak, the pain in him was so great that it caused him to pass out, his eyelids slipping closed and his head lolling to the side.

“Let’s take him in,” Qui-Gon said. “He needs immediate medical treatment. Those wounds look deep.”

No more was to be said as Plo carefully rose to his feet with the boy in his hands, and the Jedi all went inside the temple to continue about their business. The boy was taken to the medical wing of the temple to be looked over by a medical droid and a few healers. Plo stated that he had some business to attend to with Master Yoda, leaving Qui-Gon to watch over the boy until he woke once more.

Qui-Gon wasn’t going to lie to himself. He felt something strange in the boy laying on the infirmary bed in front of him. What he felt, he could not say. The boy’s Force sensitivity felt weak. He suspected a low midichlorian count, and his suspicion proved to be right when a blood sample was taken. It was the lowest he perhaps had ever seen, a very rare oddity in Force sensitive beings.

“Whoever you are, we’ll take good care of you.” Qui-Gon gently traced the outline of the cut on the boy’s face with his fingers, then he stepped back and sat down, watching the medical droids get to work on closing the wounds.

 

-x-x-x-

 

Maul was an absolute ass.

That was Obi-Wan’s first thought when he came around. He couldn’t open his eyes, but he did manage to let out a small moan.

Maul was only supposed to lightly rough him up, not pierce him and cut open his scar on his face. What was he thinking? Obi-Wan had already look convincing enough, so it hadn’t been necessary to put a few new holes in him and toss him onto the steps of the temple.

“Young man, are you awake?”

Obi-Wan slowly turned his head to the side and attempted to open his eyes. He managed to barely crack them open as pain shot down his back.

“You are… thank the Force. I was beginning to get worried about you.”

The voice… it sounded so calm and relaxed, so gentle. It reminded Obi-Wan of his father. Slowly, he turned his head to look up at the man who was speaking to him, and his breath was nearly taken away.

Qui-Gon stood over him with a worried expression, but relief was spreading through it from his kind eyes. His silvery-brown hair was falling over one of his shoulders, and his wide shoulders looked more inviting than intimidating. Over all, Qui-Gon was a stunningly handsome man, despite being one of the older Masters in the Jedi Order.

“Are you thirsty? Hungry?”

Obi-Wan shook his head. If he took anything into his body now, he felt like he might throw up.

“Okay… would you mind telling me your name? It will be most helpful to me.”

There was a pause, but Obi-Wan’s lips cracked open to let out horse words. “Obi…Wan…”

“Obi-Wan? A very unique name.” Qui-Gon smiled gently. It was the most beautiful thing Obi-Wan had ever seen in his life, and it really did take his breath away this time. He felt like he could pass out again.

“I can see you’re still in pain. I’ll leave you to rest now. Don’t worry, I’ll be right here when you wake up again. I promise.”

Obi-Wan was just barely able to see Qui-Gon sit down before his eyelids closed once more, sending him out of consciousness. Yes, he hoped that the large man would be there when he woke up. He really wanted to see those kind eyes and that gentle face another time.

But still, in the end, after everything that had happened, Maul was still a gigantic ass.


	4. Chapter 4

Obi-Wan came back to consciousness the next morning with a massive headache. The room he was in was very bright, the morning sunlight pouring in through the window, and he groaned loudly as he turned away from it. Whoever decided that sunlight was an important part of life was a right idiot.

“Feeling better, you are, it sounds like.”

A different voice than before. This wasn’t Qui-Gon, and Obi-Wan had to admit, he was a little upset by that. Qui-Gon had promised to be here when he woke up, and he was gone. Unreliable…

“Kriffing hurts still,” Obi-Wan managed to rasp out.

“Mmmm, work on your language, we must. The Jedi way, it is not.”

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes internally. It was going to be a long journey becoming a Jedi. “Sorry… I’m not used to hurting this much.”

“Not needed, an apology is. Pardoned already, you are.”

With a little difficulty, Obi-Wan opened his eyes and blinked a couple times, the room becoming clearer the more he woke up. His next goal was to try and sit up, but his growling stomach said otherwise of what he should do next. He sighed and looked at the ceiling with annoyance.

Heavy footsteps could be heard coming to the room, and Obi-Wan got excited once the saw the familiar, silvery-brown hair of Qui-Gon. He couldn’t help but have a smile on his face.

“I’m terribly sorry about that, Master Yoda,” Qui-Gon rambled on to the very small, green man who had been talking to Obi-Wan only seconds before. “Master Plo was very insistent that I join him in the Archives.”

Yoda pointed to the bed with his cane, a smile on his face as he looked at Qui-Gon. The tall man gave a confused look before he turned his head and saw Obi-Wan.

“Ah, Obi-Wan. You haven’t been awake for too long, have you? Goodness, I’m sorry to you as well.”

Obi-Wan shook his head, his smile still plastered on his face like an idiot.

“Well, I suppose at this point you would be hungry. I have good news and bad news, so which would you like to hear first?”

Obi-Wan thought for a minute, then spoke very softly, “Bad news.”

Qui-Gon smiled as he sat on the edge of the bed. “The bad news is you’re going to have to get up if you want to get food. You’ll also have to look a bit more presentable, which means a bath, new clothes, and a haircut.”

The man reached forward and picked a piece of fuzz out of Obi-Wan’s hair. “However, the good news is that the food here is amazing. You can have anything you want and as much of it as you can hold in your stomach.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes lit up greatly, and he was already trying to sit up and get out of the bed. “So hungry…”

“In the cafeteria, I will see you both.” Yoda made his way out of the room with a smile, leaving Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan alone so the boy could be cleaned.

Qui-Gon carefully helped Obi-Wan out of the bed and onto his feet. He was surprised to see the boy being able to stand on his own, despite the recent attack he went through. “You’re a strong one… If only I could get the council to see the amount of potential in you.”

Once Obi-Wan was on his feet, they both moved to the refresher room connected to the small medical room. Inside, Obi-Wan was stripped of his dirty clothes and left to clean up by himself. Qui-Gon did not find it necessary for him to help Obi-Wan if he was capable of walking on his own. He didn’t want to ruin the relationship between them already by simply invading someone’s right to privacy.

Obi-Wan was given a set of tunics, pants, boot, and a cloak, standard clothes of younglings and padawans alike in the Jedi Order. Putting them on was deemed quite a task, and Obi-Wan required assistance from Qui-Gon. After some struggling with the fabric, mostly the pants being far too big for him, Qui-Gon stepped back to observe the young man before him. Honestly, all of the clothes he wore were too big for him, as they just hung off his thin body like rags. The boots were nearly a whole size too big, and Obi-Wan’s damp hair made him look like a boy trying to look like a youngling and failing. Yes, he desperately needed a haircut.

“Well, other than the clothes being far too large… you look much better than you did before, Obi-Wan.” Qui-Gon chuckled and crossed his arms. “How do you feel?”

“Honestly? Like a child. These clothes are too big.” He flapped his arms a little to show just how loose the tunics were.

“Yes, you’ll grow into them, I’m sure… Obi-Wan, how old are you?”

“Eighteen.”

Qui-Gon hummed lightly, nodding. “I’ll have to do some heavy convincing with the Council to let you be trained.”

“Am I going to get kicked out?” Obi-Wan’s question was a little hurried, and he mentally kicked himself for it. One wrong move, and he would be kicked out, thus failing the mission. He would never hear the end of it from Maul.

“No, we never kick anyone out unless they disobey the Jedi Code. I don’t see you doing that, either. You were homeless, right?”

Obi-Wan hesitated. He really was homeless on Coruscant. An orphan as well, if he added on his parents’ deaths. “Yes… I am… was.” He sighed. Boy, this was going to be so tough.

“You’re not homeless anymore, Obi-Wan. The Jedi will gladly keep you here, and by the will of the Force, one of us will train you to become a Jedi as well.” Qui-Gon moved to the door to head to the cafeteria, his long cloak flowing gracefully behind him. “Come. Master Yoda is waiting for us.”

“Are we skipping my haircut,” Obi-Wan asked as he stumbled to follow the giant of a man.

“No, you will get a haircut after you eat. You’ll also need to shave. Younglings and padawans are required to have clean-shaven faces.”

Obi-Wan rubbed his chin, feeling the slight stubble that was there. He was beginning to grow rather fond of it…

“Do I have to shave?”

“Yes, I’m afraid you do. But as soon as you become a Jedi Knight, you are more than welcome to grow out your beard again.”

Obi-Wan received several odd looks as he made his way with Qui-Gon to the cafeteria. He felt uneasy, cautious of anyone who tried to pick at his mind. He was worried he might break. And then there were suddenly hundreds of minds running their own thoughts as they entered the large cafeteria. There were several delightful smells and sounds, all of which made Obi-Wan’s stomach growl loudly. He hugged his stomach to hide the noise with a red face.

Qui-Gon just laughed and led Obi-Wan over to the buffet. “Get whatever you like. Anything else you want but don’t have room for can be obtained on a trip for seconds.” He nudged the boy to the stack of plates nearby, and Obi-Wan nearly cried out of joy.

Finally, he could eat again.

Obi-Wan piled his plate with food, taking it back to the table where Masters Yoda and Plo were waiting for him and Qui-Gon. He was glad that they weren’t judging how much he had on his plate, because he was sure even he might not finish all the food he had gotten. He was going to try his hardest, though. Being denied food for a week was taking its toll on him.

Yoda and Plo chuckled at the young man as he began shoveling his food into his mouth. “Hungry, this boy is,” Yoda said with a smile.

“He probably hasn’t had food like this in a long time,” Plo added.

Obi-Wan looked up and shook his head. A week could be considered a long time, right? “I’ve never had food this good before, he said with a full mouth.

Qui-Gon chuckled and reached out his hand to ruffle the boy’s hair, but when he did so, Obi-Wan shied away from the hand, a look of genuine fear in his eyes. His spoon clattered to the floor as he tried to make himself as small as possible. He was even visibly shaking, and Qui-Gon looked upon the boy with sadness.

“Obi-Wan…”

“Please don’t hit me… I didn’t mean to speak with a full mouth! I won’t do it again, I promise!”

The older man shook his head and gently placed his hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder. “I’m not going to hurt you, Obi-Wan. You did nothing bad.”

Obi-Wan moved his hands away from his head, eyes wide with wonder and a slight bit of fear left. “You’re… not going to punish me?”

“No, of course not. I would never have a reason to hurt you.” Qui-Gon offered a kind smile to Obi-Wan. “You can keep eating. I’m sorry I scared you.”

Obi-Wan was hesitant, but eventually he was back to shoveling his food into his mouth, and soon his plate was completely empty. He looked expectantly at Qui-Gon, and he got an encouraging nod in response. He was bounding back to the buffet quicker than some of the younglings at the temple.

“Quite an enthusiastic young man,” Plo said. “He would be a great Jedi, if only he could learn to control himself a little.”

“Obi-Wan has been homeless for a while,” Qui-Gon said, his eyebrows set a little low over his eyes. “Let him be for now. This is probably the best care he’s had in years, if I were to take a guess.”

“Darkness in him, I sense,” Yoda added. “Much fear, there is.”

“We can get it out of him by the time comes for him to become a padawan. I’m sure of it.” Qui-Gon leaned against the table with a sigh. “Speaking of padawans, where is yours today, Master Plo?”

“She’s busy in the archives today. Jocasta needed her help, and I had nowhere to go today, so I let her have the day off.” Plo smiled. “Maybe she and Obi-Wan will get along with each other well.”

“Well, not too well. You know things like that are forbidden.”

Obi-Wan came back with just as much food on his plate as before and a very happy smile on his face. “There are so many food choices here! I’ve never seen so much in one place!”

“Just don’t eat so much that you make yourself sick.” Qui-Gon smiled down at the boy. He really wanted to train Obi-Wan, and he was sure he’d do almost anything just to get his wish.

 

-x-x-x-

 

Obi-Wan had been in the temple for a whole week, and he was still being debated over in the Council whether or not he should be taken in to be trained in the ways of the Force. It was rather annoying. He just wanted to get inside, and yet it was proving to be more difficult that he originally thought. The way the Dark Lord had said it, it sounded like him getting in would be easy, but it was far from it now. Perhaps the Dark Lord had been wrong…

_Careful with your thoughts. That kind of thinking could get you in trouble with both sides of the Force._

Obi-Wan sighed as he stood outside the doors of the council room. He could hear Master Windu arguing with Qui-Gon, and he knew it wasn’t very pleasant. He was the cause of most of the conflict between the Jedi, and he wasn’t entirely sure if he liked it. Sure, the conflict was interesting to watch, but it wasn’t getting him inside the Order any quicker. Perhaps he should go into the council room and make a claim for himself…

_Don’t think like that. This will all play out according to plan._

As long as he had been waiting, surely someone would have come along for him to talk to. Not a single person had passed by him, and he found it rather odd. Hadn’t there been so many people in the cafeteria every day? Where were all those people?

Qui-Gon could be heard yelling now. Obi-Wan made a note to never get on his bad side.

Now, surely there were some younglings around that he could talk to… There had to be plenty of those around. Most of the people in the cafeteria were younglings and padawans. Of course, the padawans always ate with their masters, and the younglings sat with their classes. Obi-Wan was alone on both parts. Most of the time he ended up sitting by himself. Other times he was sitting with Qui-Gon. That was happening less often now. It made him remember that he was alone on this mission. He wasn’t here to make friends or to be happy. He just had to pretend.

A voice came from down the hall. Two voices, actually. One masculine, the other feminine. Obi-Wan didn’t move, but he was curious to know who was passing by. The voices sounded young, so maybe they were his age.

A young Twi’lek girl and a Nautolan boy came into Obi-Wan’s line of sight, and they caught sight of him too. They looked to be about the same age as him, if not a little older in the case of the Nautolan. He had a fancy smile about him, and it put Obi-Wan on edge a little. He told himself to relax and let the two stop if they wanted. And they did. They were just as curious about Obi-Wan as Obi-Wan was about them.

“Pretty noisy in there,” the Twi’lek said with a sort of apologetic smile.

“A little,” Obi-Wan said. “They’ve been at it for a couple hours now.”

“Impressive,” the Nautolan said, his smile getting wider than it already was, if it was even possible. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard them go on for that long.”

“This is the longest I’ve sat through,” Obi-Wan said. “It’s only the fifth one, but still the longest.”

“So you must be the boy on the steps that Master Jinn and Master Koon found.” The Twi’lek tilted her head slightly. “You don’t look too rough around the edges. I’m Aayla Secura.” She held out her hand to Obi-Wan, which the human shook.

“And I’m Kit Fisto. Nice to meet you.” Kit also extended his hand to Obi-Wan.

“I’m Obi-Wan Kenobi. Pleasure to meet the both of you.”

Qui-Gon’s voice could be heard right next to the door of the council room, and he sounded exhausted. Obi-Wan jumped away from the door just in time for the older man to step out.

“Oh, it looks like you found some friends, Obi-Wan.” Qui-Gon smiled at Kit and Aayla. “Afternoon, padawans. How are you two? Get a free day, did you?”

“Yes, Master Jinn,” Kit said. “Our masters gave us the day off since it’s so nice out. We were going to go down town and check out some of the shops.”

“Sounds like a fun time. Would you like to join them, Obi-Wan?”

Obi-Wan was doubtful, but he did want to get away from the temple for a while. He hadn’t been able to leave since he arrived. “I don’t have any money, though. And I don’t want to get my clothes dirty again…”

Qui-Gon chuckled and shook his head, slipping Obi-Wan a few credits, enough to get him something nice if he wanted. “Here. Don’t worry about getting your clothes dirty. No one is going to yell at you for that.”

Obi-Wan stared at the credits, debating on giving them back. “…I don’t know.”

“It’ll be really fun, Obi-Wan,” Aayla said with a warm smile. “You don’t have to get anything if you don’t want to.”

“You can keep the credits too if you don’t buy anything,” Qui-Gon added with a pat on Obi-Wan’s shoulder.

As fun as it sounded, Obi-Wan didn’t want to risk it. Going out into public might give him away, and it was something he really didn’t need happening. “I think I’ll pass this time… We can go another time.” He looked at Kit and Aayla with an apologetic expression.

“That’s okay,” Kit said. “The next time we go, we’ll invite you.”

Obi-Wan nodded. “I’d like that. Thank you.”

Bowing to Qui-Gon, Kit and Aayla went on their way, laughing as they went. They sure looked like fun to be around, but Obi-Wan was still wary of anyone he met. He couldn’t get too attached. He had to stay loyal to the Sith.

“Come,” Qui-Gon said gently. “Walk with me. I have a few things to talk to you about.”

 

-x-x-x-

 

“Why did you decide to stay here, Obi-Wan?”

Qui-Gon had taken Obi-Wan to a balcony at the temple, overlooking Coruscant and all its beauty. It was a very private place, in fact, and it made Obi-Wan’s heart beat fast.

“I was scared.”

“Scared of what? Of leaving the temple?”

“No. I was scared that my attacker might find me again…” Obi-Wan sighed. He did have a little fear of Maul now, especially after he had put several holes in him.

“It’s been a week since your attack. I don’t blame you for being a little scared still. But you do have several Jedi who are looking out for you now.”

“I still feel scared. I don’t feel completely safe here.”

Qui-Gon sighed, leaning against the railing on the balcony. “You know you have nothing to fear here. The Jedi Temple is a safe haven for all who enter, and you’re no exception. Everyone who comes here is under the protection of the Jedi.”

Even if Qui-Gon was right, Obi-Wan still felt unsure. He knew that he had a job to do, and if he didn’t do it, he would surely die at the hands of his former master.

Still, Obi-Wan trusted Qui-Gon with his life now. His future was uncertain, and all he relied on was the tall man who had greeted him when he woke up from being rescued. Really, all Obi-Wan wanted to be under the wings of Qui-Gon, to be protected by that man for as long as he lived. That sounded okay to him, and it wasn’t a dark future either. Maybe the light side had its perks.

_WAIT JUST A MINUTE_

Did he really just think that? Did he really will himself to be on the Light Side now? After being in the temple for only a week, could it be possible it was already getting to him? Was the Force willing him to turn to the Light Side?

Obi-Wan grew lightheaded very quickly, his vision covered in black spots as he grabbed onto _something_ to keep himself upright. He couldn’t do it for long, though. Soon he was on the ground and gasping for air. Maybe he was being punished by Dooku or Maul. He had made a bad thought and now he was paying for it. How stupid he had been, to let his guard down like that. He was already attached to Qui-Gon, and that was a bad sign. Something bad was going to happen to him, he just felt it in his blood. He knew it with his whole being, something bad would happen soon, and he wasn’t going to like it one bit.

Or maybe this was just a panic attack. Maybe he was over reacting over the fact that he had considered going to the Light Side. Yes, that was it. It was only a little hiccup in his confidence that made him panic like this.

Nevertheless, he curled up into a ball on the ground and began to cry. He didn’t know where the tears came from or why they poured out of his eyes like twin waterfalls, but they were showing a sensitive side of him that he never let anyone see. Not even a Jedi Master would be allowed to see him cry like this, but here he was in front of Qui-Gon, bawling like a baby over… something. Obi-Wan wasn’t really sure at this point.

Before Obi-Wan passed out from his attack, he glanced up at a very worried Qui-Gon, and if there was ever a reason to be scared, now was it. Obi-Wan was slipping between Light and Dark, and anyone who was in that rift was a dangerous man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ages of Kit and Aayla are a bit different than cannon here, but none of this story follows cannon anyways.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year, everybody!

In his fit of panic, Obi-Wan had somehow managed to dig open the scar that was on his face. It was a surprising feat, considering the scar had existed for just about three weeks and counting. With a real fear that the boy had somehow dangerously hurt himself, Qui-Gon had taken him to see a medical droid, and a new bandage had been placed over the scar.

Now Obi-Wan stood in front of the council beside Qui-Gon, the beast of a man towering above him with a gentle hand placed on his back. Obi-Wan had, at least, finally shaved his face, giving him a much younger look that he actually was. It was a flaw in his facial features that had upset him numerous times in the past. It didn’t help that he wasn’t growing to be very tall either. He knew that he was 18, and that he had a handful of years left for him to grow, but that didn’t help the fact that he had been stuck at five feet, six inches for a few years.

In all honesty, he looked like he was 12.

“Look, I know you are not that enthusiastic about taking in a boy who is far past the age of learning as a youngling. But there is a lot of wasted potential here if you just let him go!”

“Master Jinn, we are fully aware of what this boy is capable of, and that is why we don’t want to take him in as a youngling.” Mace Windu had a heavy glare set on the tall Jedi Master, and it put Obi-Wan on edge. “He is strong with the Force, and we don’t know if he has had any training in the past in using the Force.”

“I’ve had a little training,” Obi-Wan suddenly blurted out, and he regretted it instantly.

“Silence, boy,” Windu snapped at him. Obi-Wan flinched. This was far too familiar to what had happened only three week previous…

“Obi-Wan, you never told me you had training.” Qui-Gon was looking down at Obi-Wan with curiosity. “What had you been learning?”

The boy pointed at Qui-Gon’s lightsaber. “May I?”

Qui-Gon handed Obi-Wan the ‘saber without any question, which made the entire council uneasy. All except for Plo Koon, who was just as interested in Obi-Wan’s skills as Qui-Gon was.

With the lightsaber in his hands, Obi-Wan ignited it, marveling at the green glow that he was not used to seeing. Putting the color aside, he took up a defensive stance, then he swung it around with such skill and precision that it surprised everyone in the room. The humming of the ‘saber filled the room and Obi-Wan moved smoothly and fluidly. All eyes were on him, and it made him swell with pride. He was sure this would get him into the Order.

He finished with the saber pointing at Windu, an expression on his face that screamed he was dangerous and ready to defend himself at all costs. It seemed to have the desired effect on the council. Obi-Wan retracted the blade of the lightsaber and handed it back to Qui-Gon with a smile.

“Very impressive, Obi-Wan,” Windu said with a nod. “My only concern is where you learned to use a lightsaber like that.”

Obi-Wan swallowed and looked up at Qui-Gon. “I… don’t want to talk about it…”

Qui-Gon put a gentle hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder. “Is it about what happened two weeks ago?”

Obi-Wan only nodded, his eyes moving to the floor and a hand moving up to the bandages on his face.

“A lot has happened to this young man,” Qui-Gon explained to the council. “You all know he was attacked on the steps of the temple, and he was in critical condition for a while. Now he shows exceptional skills with a lightsaber, and you still question whether or not he will be an important benefit to the Order?”

“We question his loyalty,” Windu said sternly.

Obi-Wan tensed up. Loyalty… It certainly was something he was struggling with, but he had to look like he was loyal to the Light Side.

“How can you say that? Obi-Wan is just a boy and he needs a home. Please just give him a chance. I’ll even take him as my padawan when the time comes for him to be taken under a master’s wings.”

The council was skeptical of Obi-Wan and they decided that they needed time to think. Their decision was not to be made right at that moment.

“Time to think, the council needs. Let you know our decision, we will.” Yoda tapped his cane on the ground gently as he spoke.

“Of course, Master Yoda. We shall leave the council to make its decision.” Qui-Gon bowed, an annoyed look on his face as he turned to leave. Obi-Wan followed closely, looking back at the council as he went through the doors. Windu was looking at him with an expression that made it seem like he could see right through Obi-Wan, and that scared him.

The Dark Lord had said it would be easy to get into the Order. But at this point, it seemed like it was the hardest thing in the world to do.

“Obi-Wan, you’re troubled. What’s the matter, young one?”

Qui-Gon was a wise man. Obi-Wan knew it since they day he had met him. With that in mind, Obi-Wan had to be smart about his thoughts, and he was pretty sure he had let them wander for a little longer than he would have wanted.

“I’m fine, Qui-Gon. I’m just… thinking about my past.”

“Don’t dwell on the past, Obi-Wan. Focus on the present. Bring your mind to the here and now. It won’t do you any good if you keep thinking about your past.”

“I know… you’ve told me many times.”

“And I meant it every time I said it. Obi-Wan, you have a uniqueness about you that makes you stand out from other young Force wielders I have met. You are a strong young man who has been through many tough trials in life. You’re barely an adult, and already you have dealt with more than some of the Jedi here can say they’ve been through.” Qui-Gon pulled Obi-Wan to a stop and put his hands on the boy’s shoulders. “I have much faith in you Obi-Wan. I believe you can achieve great things, and I believe you can become a great Jedi Master just like me. You’ve got the right stuff, I want to use that stuff to turn you into something far greater than you can ever imagine.”

There was a promise in his words, a promise to take care of Obi-Wan as long as he lived. It was a promise similar to one Dooku had made to him years ago, and that promise had been broken recently. Was this one that Qui-Gon offered to be broken as well?

Obi-Wan swallowed hard, then he threw his arms around Qui-Gon in a hug. The last time he had done that was with his parents, and they were dead now. They couldn’t return hugs to him now even if they wanted to. Qui-Gon however was still a live and fully capable of returning hugs, and he returned the hug without any question. It was the best hug Obi-Wan had ever had, and he never wanted it to end. Yes, he still had to keep his loyalty to the Sith, but in that moment, Obi-Wan felt like he didn’t have to do anything but hug the man he had gotten so close to in only two short weeks.

Finally the two pulled away from each other, smiles brightening up their faces after the rather grim council meeting. “I promise you, Obi-Wan. You will become my padawan, and I will make you one of the greatest Jedi in history.”

“I would love that, Qui-Gon. I want to be a Jedi.”

“Come, then. Let’s go look at the Jedi archives for a bit. I have a feeling you will like it in there.”

 

-x-x-x-

 

The council took their precious time deciding whether Obi-Wan should be admitted into the Order or not. It was a long, hard process that had to be repeated a couple times just to come to a sound agreement. In the end, the council decided that Obi-Wan was fit to begin his training as a Jedi. He was to spend some time as a youngling before becoming a padawan under Qui-Gon’s watchful gaze. He didn’t like the idea at the start, but he supposed it was for the best. He was finally admitted into the Order, and that was good enough for him.

Or at least, it had been at the start.

Obi-Wan was starting his fifth month training as a youngling. Far shorter of a time than any normal youngling, but long enough to send him into an odd mix of depression and frustration. He felt like he would never get out of being a youngling. He wanted to start his training as a padawan already, but the council just wasn’t willing to have him go through the necessary trials yet.

So there he was, standing much taller than any of the other younglings, in the back row, blocking small blaster bullets from the traditional training remote with a training lightsaber. He could have blocked them this easily at the beginning of his training.

“Find your focus, you must,” Yoda spoke gently to the younglings. “Trust the Force, you will. Success, you will find.”

Of course. It was the same thing Yoda said day after day. It was always the same routine. Boring. Slow. Not exciting in the slightest.

Until Master Plo Koon made his way into the training room with his padawan. The master had a question for Yoda concerning the council, and he needed an immediate answer.

“Younglings, come to see us, Master Koon has. Your attention, I need.”

Obi-Wan was more than happy to be rid of the training for the moment. He retracted the blade of his lightsaber he had constructed and hooked it onto his belt, then removed his helmet that had been blocking his vision, shaking his head to make his still somewhat long hair not look like the helmet had completely ruined it. The single, black earring he wore on his left ear was still in place even after he had begun his training.

He wasn’t interested in the conversation that Yoda and Plo were having, and his eyes wandered around the room until he caught sight of Plo’s padawan.

She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. The young Mirialan girl’s green skin shone in the morning light and her tattoos on her chin stood out like the streams of lava back on Mustafar. She wore a headdress that covered all of her hair except for the padawan braid behind her right ear. It was long, reaching just past her shoulder that was covered in a dark cloak. She had clothes on much like Obi-Wan’s only much darker in color. It suited her, just as the dark colors would suit Obi-Wan, if he were allowed to change his clothes’ color. Her stunning royal blue eyes moved constantly, from her master, to Yoda, to the younglings, to Obi-Wan―

Obi-Wan quickly looked away, his cheeks heating up very quickly. He had to know the name of that girl. He needed to know her. But he was an 18-year-old youngling who had yet to be taken by a master. He was nothing compared to her.

“Obi-Wan.”

Plo called out the boy’s name with a sternness that quite frankly scared him a little. He was still scared easily when someone raised their voice, a result of being yelled at so much by his former master.

Obi-Wan set his helmet down on the ground, avoiding the gaze of every other youngling, but instead looking at Yoda, who was smiling at him. Odd… Yoda didn’t smile at him often.

“Come, Obi-Wan,” Plo continued to say after the boy had approached him. “The council would like a word with you.”

“Without Master Yoda?” Obi-Wan looked away from the old master and to Master Plo.

“Yes. He is already informed of what is to happen. We must hurry, though. The council doesn’t want to be in session much longer than they have to be.” Plo began walking out of the room, his padawan following on his left side while Obi-Wan followed on his right.

The walk to the council room started off very silent. It was almost uncomfortable how silent it was, but then Plo’s padawan broke the silence at last, and Obi-Wan couldn’t have been more relieved.

“So you’re the boy they found on the stairs,” she stated simply. Her accent was music to Obi-Wan’s ears. “I thought you’d be younger.”

Obi-Wan didn’t know how to respond, so he stayed silent, glancing at the girl with his cheeks still flushed.

“I was wondering why someone such as yourself was still in a youngling class, but now I understand.”

“Y-yes… I came here five months ago.” Obi-Wan’s voice was shaky. Great first impression.

“I know. Everyone knows how long you’ve been here. It’s all everyone has been talking about.”

“Didn’t know I was that popular.”

“I wouldn’t use the term popular,” the girl snapped at him, to which Plo gave a warning that Obi-Wan was sensitive about people talking to him like that. She apologized to her master, but not to Obi-Wan.

“So… how long have you been a padawan,” Obi-wan asked after a bit more silence.

“Six years. I have four more before I go through trials to become a knight. I’ll be 22 then.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes lit up. “So will I. I’ll be 22 in four years.”

The girl, looked at Obi-Wan with a raised eyebrow. “You may be 22 then, but you sure won’t act like it. I can tell already.”

“Alright, Luminara, that’s quite enough of that talk.” Plo looked back at his padawan with what Obi-Wan assumed to be a disappointed look.

“Yes, Master…”

More silence. So her name was Luminara. A perfect name for her. She always seemed to glow no matter what she was doing, and it made Obi-Wan’s heart skip a beat. Whatever he had to do to get closer to her, he was sure as the rising sun going to do it. He wanted her like nothing else he had ever wanted, and that scared him.

“Are you really 18,” Luminara asked after the long silence. “You don’t look like it at all.”

“Yeah, I’m really 18. I had been growing a beard before I came here, but I was forced to shave it.” Obi-Wan chuckled and smiled at Luminara, and he was sure he saw the small blush form on the Mirialan’s cheeks.

“That’s… kinda nice, actually.” Yes, there was definitely a blush on Luminara’s cheeks. “There aren’t any other padawans who are my age. They’re all either done in a year, or they’re just getting started. At a young age of course.”

“Of course…”

The trio came upon the doors of the council room, and Obi-Wan felt his throat get tight. Last time he was in the council room, he had been forced to leave after he had risen his temper just a little too high against Mace Windu. Despite the fact, they walked right in without any trouble, and Obi-Wan was relieved to see Qui-Gon standing in the middle of the room waiting patiently.

Like any other meeting he would sit in on, Obi-Wan started to move to the back where he could be out of the way, but he was quickly stopped when Qui-Gon spoke his name and motioned for him to approach the center of the room. Obi-Wan could feel all the eyes of the council on him, and it made him rather uncomfortable. They were looking at him with… something new. It wasn’t like before, where they all scowled at him for no apparent reason. No, this time they looked at him with appreciation, with respect. Something was off about it, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

“Obi-Wan Kenobi,” Windu spoke as he stood up, his expression unreadable. “You have been at the Jedi Temple now for five months, and your training under Master Yoda has proven to be successful. Traditionally, you would stay a youngling for several more years until you pass the trials to becoming a padawan. However, your situation is different than tradition. Far from it actually.”

Windu cleared his throat before continuing. “The council has been overseeing your progress, and it has been pleased with the results. Therefore, we have come to a decision after many long hours of debate over your future.”

Obi-Wan winced slightly. He knew he was trouble. Master Windu had said it himself, the stubborn Jedi…

“Step forward please.”

Obi-Wan did as he was told, then he knelt in front of Windu with his head down. He heard the buzz of some sort of machine, and in the next instant, locks of his hair fell to the ground as they were cut. Obi-Wan’s eyes widened at what was happening. He wasn’t entirely sure, but he had a feeling―

“Now rise, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You have been chosen to proceed in your training. From this day forward, until the day your training is complete, you will be a padawan learner under Master Qui-Gon Jinn.”

Obi-Wan rose to his feet once more, a new feeling of confidence filling him as he turned to Qui-Gon. This was it He was finally moving on! He would finally become a padawan and be by Qui-Gon’s side every moment of his training. To seal it off, Qui-Gon put in the first band in his hair to begin the growth of his padawan braid. There was a certain sense of pride coming from Obi-Wan, one that he had not felt before from anyone, not even Dooku. It was light, happy, full of emotion. Obi-Wan didn’t question the new feeling he had because he knew exactly what it was.

It was his new Force bond to Qui-Gon Jinn, the gentle giant of a Jedi Master.

“Congratulations, Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon said with his hands on the boy’s shoulders.

“Thank you, Master.”

All at once, every lightsaber in the room ignited and pointed towards the ceiling, the Jedi Code being recited in unison by all the Jedi. All except for Obi-Wan, who recited the Sith Code in his head, reminding himself that this was not his true calling. The Jedi was not where his loyalty was. It was a painful reminder that he had to do everything correctly, lest he die in a horrible way that he would rather avoid.

In any case, Obi-Wan was a padawan now, and though he was promised several years of being by Qui-Gon’s side and learning the Light Side of the Force from him, there was also a promise of getting closer to Luminara. Sure, attachments weren’t looked very highly upon in the eyes of the Jedi, but surely there was some way that he could be closer to the young Mirialan. There just had to be a way. Obi-Wan thought he might go crazy if he didn’t get to be around her more often.

“I have many things to teach you now, Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon said to his new apprentice as they left the council room together. “And you have a larger responsibility now.”

“I know, Master. I have a lot to learn under your teachings.” Obi-Wan smiled up at his new master, true happiness bubbling up inside him for the first time in a very long time.

“Yes you do, and we’ll have the best time with it. I promise.”

Another promise, another master, another round of learning to do, but it was all going to be worth it in the end. If Obi-Wan was to be truthful with himself, he was liking the Jedi more and more. It was not as bad as he had originally thought it would be. He thought it would literally bore him to death, and now he knew he was wrong. There were many perks to being a Jedi, and Obi-Wan was only just beginning to learn those perks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how these Jedi ceremonies go.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, age differences between the characters are not as they are in cannon.

“I don’t see why we have to live in quarters separate from our masters.”

Obi-Wan was standing with his arms folded over his chest in the middle of the living room he shared with four other padawans in their living quarters. The quarters were similar to those of a university dormitory suite, each padawan having their own bedroom to sleep and do personal business in. There was a large refresher room that could cleanse two padawans at a time, along with two toilet stalls and two sinks. Unlike the living quarters of Jedi Knights and Masters, there was no kitchen to make their own food. All the food they ate was in the cafeteria, provided conveniently in take-out form on occasion for the padawans to return to their quarters and eat.

The living room itself was a spectacular sight to anyone who was not accustomed to the lavish living quarters. A large rug was on the carpeted floor, a couch and three single chairs were placed around the outside edge of it, and two small coffee tables were at the center of it. A large holoscreen was positioned on the wall near the ‘fresher room, the chairs and couch all situated to face it comfortably. A few small tables with exotic flowers were against the rounded walls of the room, one by every door to the bedrooms.

Obi-Wan, thankfully, lived with padawans he was rather familiar with; Kit, Aayla, Luminara, and his newest acquaintance, Quinlan Vos, a dashing human who had a knack for stirring up trouble where it wasn’t needed. He was on his last year of his apprenticeship.

“I believe it’s something to do with letting us have a break from our masters,” Aayla replied to Obi-Wan with a smile. “They can get rough on us sometimes.”

“Plus it gives us time to be around other padawans,” Kit added. He and Aayla were sitting on the couch, his arm resting up on the back of it while she sat perhaps a bit too close to him.

“I still would rather live with my master…” Obi-Wan shook his head while he kicked lightly at one of the designs on the rug. “I just think it would be easier that way. We are supposed to be with our masters almost all of the time, anyways.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean we gotta be by them all the time,” Quinlan said. “We deserve our time to relax.”

“We all work very hard,” Luminara agreed. “That goes for all padawans, not just us.”

Obi-Wan began to pace around while the others remained seated. “Don’t you want to know what it’s like to be by your master all the time, though? How awesome of an experience would it be just to be in their presence all the time?”

“I don’t really want to be with my master all the time,” Quinlan said with a roll of his eyes. “He can get kinda annoying after a while.”

The others nodded in agreement, thinking of their own masters.

“We don’t all have masters like Qui-Gon,” Aayla said. “You’re lucky, I should think.”

“What, do your masters hit you or something?” Obi-Wan stopped pacing for a moment, remembering how Dooku had treated him. An involuntary shiver spread through his body.

“Oh, no. They would never do that. It’s just that they’re all a little more strict that Qui-Gon, that’s all.”

“So my master is a bad master.”

“No, that’s not what I meant at all! Your master is one that we all envy because he’s so carefree and easygoing.”

The redhead’s pacing started up again, and the other padawans sighed. Obi-Wan looked up at them, noting their worried expressions… well at least Quinlan was trying to give him one. He just looked more annoyed.

“I’m pacing again aren’t I…?”

“Obi-Wan, you haven’t been sleeping very well, have you,” Kit asked as he stood up, moving towards the younger padawan.

“I’ve been sleeping rather normal for me. Has it not seemed normal to you all?”

“You stay up until the early hours of the morning, and when you can you sleep in until midday,” Luminara said flatly. She still hadn’t quite warmed up to Obi-Wan yet…

“You blast the volume on the holoscreen in your room late at night,” Aayla added.

“You talk in your sleep, too,” Quinlan added.

Obi-Wan shook his head. “Sorry, I’m not used to living with other people around…I don’t notice when I do odd things sometimes.”

Aayla shook her head with a smile. “It’s okay, Obi-Wan. We know you’ve had a rough life so far, so we can hardly blame you for things you do that you’ve been doing for years now.”

At that moment, a knock came on the door to the suite, stopping the conversation there as Luminara went to answer. Her master was standing at the door, his arms folded over his chest. “Luminara, get ready to leave. We’re heading to Naboo for a couple of days.”

“Yes, Master.”

Obi-Wan sighed. Everyone was always on the move, and to be completely honest, so was he most of the time. Qui-Gon was a man who always liked a little adventure, never cowering in the face of fear. It annoyed the young man some times. Nevertheless, he always did as he was told. He had learned that lesson already.

“Be careful,” the young man said as Luminara passed him.

“Yeah, I always am.” Luminara turned to the other padawans before she left the room. “See you all in a couple days.”

And just like that, she was gone, and Obi-Wan felt a loneliness wash over himself. It was a normal thing whenever Luminara left, but it still hurt him, and the other padawans could see it too.

“Don’t worry, Lover Boy,” Quinlan said with a teasing nudge to Obi-Wan’s arm. “She’ll be back and will be perfectly safe.”

Obi-Wan flushed lightly at the older padawan’s words. “She’s just a friend, like you guys.”

“Uh huh, sure.”

“Oh, stop teasing him, Quin,” Aayla said as she stood up. “I’ve seen the way you look at some of the other padawans. Should I start calling you out on that too?” She put her hands on her hips as she smirked up at Quinlan.

That seemed to tone down Quinlan’s attitude, and he huffed lightly before stalking off to his room.

“Honestly, that boy is going to get himself in trouble one of these days.” The young Twi’lek smiled at Obi-Wan kindly.

If he had returned the smile, it wouldn’t have been genuine. He really was worried for Luminara.

“Obi-Wan, you seem distracted.”

The redhead looked up at Kit approaching him. The Nautolan was a good four inches taller than Obi-Wan, and if he wasn’t a friend, Obi-Wan might have thought of him as an intimidating enemy.

“Sorry, I’m not thinking very clearly today,” Obi-Wan apologized. “I think I may go lay down…”

And of course, at that moment, there was another knock on the door to the suite, which Aayla went to answer. Quinlan’s master was standing in wait, and behind him were Kit’s and Aayla’s masters. Obi-Wan half expected Qui-Gon to be standing there with them.

Obi-Wan was left alone after masters and padawans had left, seeming to all be headed to the same place. Naboo. Force knew why they were all headed there, but Obi-Wan wasn’t interested. He was happy to just stay on Coruscant and sleep for the rest of the day. Which he did. He slept through dinner and into the night, through Qui-Gon’s calls to him through their bond and through the light knocks that came to the door of the suite. Obi-Wan wasn’t exactly tired, but he still slept very much.

He slept because he was lonely.

 

-x-x-x-

 

Sunlight poured onto the balcony Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon sat on, the sounds of busy Coruscant greeting them as they mediated the next morning. Even after his long night of sleep, Obi-Wan still felt like he could easily drift back into sleep as he sat next to his master meditating. Finally, he decided that sitting there was going to make him fall back asleep, and he knew that Qui-Gon would not have approved of it. So Obi-Wan stood up and went to lean against the balcony railing with a sigh.

Many thoughts flooded his mind as he abandoned his meditation, most of them about how he might get caught or when his eyes might decide to change color. True, his loyalty had felt like it had been bouncing between Light and Dark, but that didn’t mean his strength in the Sith was any weaker. If he had willed it, he was sure his eyes would have switched to the nearly glowing yellow that was associated with the Sith.

Before those thoughts got very far, Obi-Wan tore them away and replaced them with thoughts of his friends. He was sure Kit, Aayla, Quinlan, and Luminara were all having a great time exploring Naboo with their masters. If he had been awake, maybe he and Qui-Gon would have gone too, but he never woke up until it was time for morning meditations. Which were going sour quickly now, and Obi-Wan had no intentions of continuing meditation. Qui-Gon knew that now, too, as Obi-Wan had felt his master poke around in his mind to determine what was the matter.

“Obi-Wan, you’re too tense. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Master…”

A disapproving sound came from the older man, which made Obi-Wan lean more against the railing. He couldn’t possibly speak his true mind. Not now.

“You know you can talk to me, my young padawan. You don’t have to hold things in. It’s not recommended by the Jedi Code, either.”

The light attempt at the joke fell flat on Obi-Wan. He wasn’t into his master’s jokes that day. All he wanted was to sleep away his loneliness. This feeling he had wasn’t just apparent when his friends were away, or at least what others might consider his friends. Obi-Wan was on the other end of the Force spectrum than his “friends”.

This feeling he had wasn’t just apparent when his friends were away. That loneliness was present even when his friends were around. Obi-Wan was hard to deal with sometimes, as he was constantly afraid of messing up and making every one mad at him. Even the one he was trying desperately to get closer to was making him feel like a failure by ignoring most of his advances. Obi-Wan was cracking his Jedi shell quicker than he would have liked, and he feared that soon he would blow his cover completely and go on a rampage that was sure to get him killed by the Sith.

A hand landed on Obi-Wan’s shoulder. Instantly his lightsaber was out and aimed at Qui-Gon, a look of fear on the young man’s face.

“Woah! Obi-Wan, easy!” Qui-Gon’s hands were up in the air in surrender, eyes focused on the lightsaber blade a hair’s breadth away from his face.

A pause, and then the clatter of a lightsaber hitting the ground, followed by the panicked breathing of Obi-Wan. “Oh kriff, I’m sorry! I was lost in my thoughts, and I didn’t realize you were right behind me, and ―”

“Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon’s voice spoke clearly and with some force. “It’s alright. I can tell you’re struggling with something right now.”

“I don’t want to talk about it…” Obi-Wan picked up his lightsaber and started walking away from the balcony.

“I think we do need to talk about it, padawan.”

“I don’t want to talk about it!”

Silence was held between the two, and it made Obi-Wan extremely uncomfortable. He just wanted to be left alone now, despite being lonely. It was a different kind of lonely, one where the loneliness was accepted and made a way of life. It did nothing to help him, but he accepted it nonetheless.

“Obi-Wan, I know you’ve been having a rough time here. You don’t need to be ashamed of it. And I know that you’re lonely. It shows through. A lot.”

Obi-Wan, already halfway through the door, quickly looked back at Qui-Gon with wide eyes filled with tears and pain. “I’m not lonely…”

“Oh my dear Obi-Wan, you are. I can see it. Everyone can see it.”

A choked sob escaped the boy’s throat.

“Everyone can see you’re having a hard time,” Qui-Gon continued. “You’re in a lot of pain. It’s not something that the Jedi look highly upon, but I don’t know how they expect you not to be in pain after all that’s happened in your past. That whole ‘no attachments’ thing is not doing you any sort of good. Unfortunately, the Council can’t see that, and I’m disappointed that they can’t.”

Obi-Wan shook his head. “I can’t do this anymore… I don’t want to be a Jedi anymore.” His hands were shaking while tears fell from his eyes. Hot, burning, angry tears.

“Obi-Wan, you _can_ do this. I believe in you. I’m your biggest supporter right now, and I want you to know that I care deeply about you and your wellbeing. This depression that has stricken you is not good, and I want to get rid of it somehow. But the only way I can do that is if you tell me what’s going on inside your head.” Qui-Gon approached Obi-Wan and put his hands on the boy’s shoulders. “It’s alright. I won’t tell anyone else, nor will I judge you. You can trust me, Obi-Wan.”

Could he really? Could Qui-Gon be trusted with the knowledge that Obi-Wan was actually a Sith?

“I… don’t think I can tell you… you wouldn’t trust me anymore…” Obi-Wan shook his head. Qui-Gon would surely hate him if he knew the truth.

“Because I’m―!” The boy slapped his hand over his mouth. He almost said it. He had almost ruined the whole mission. _Way to kriffing go, Kenobi…_

“Because I’m in love with another padawan…” _Nice recovery._

Qui-Gon let out a howling laugh, one that seemed to fit the man just perfectly. “Oh, Obi-Wan! You really think I was going to be upset about that? Trust me, I know the feeling! Young love, something that the Jedi forbids, yet it still somehow manages to work its way into the hearts of the padawans and younglings.”

Obi-Wan flushed. “Forget I said anything, please…”

“Oh, now don’t be like that. Having a crush on someone isn’t a bad thing. So who is it? If you don’t mind me asking you.”

“Um… well, it’s… ah…” He swallowed hard. “Luminara…”

“Plo’s padawan, eh? I can see why you like her. That accent is similar to yours, so it feel like home, and she’s not so bad looking.” Qui-Gon smirked and patted Obi-Wan’s back. “Has she expressed anything towards you yet?”

Obi-Wan’s shoulders rose and fell in a half-hearted shrug. “No. I think she ignores me most of the time.”

“Well, we’ll just have to fix that, won’t we? Now come, let’s go get something to eat. I think some food is needed right now.”

 

-x-x-x-

 

Two days passed before Luminara, Aayla, Kit, and Quinlan returned to the temple with their masters. Obi-Wan was glad to see them all return safely and without any scratches. He was so happy that he finally had his friends back that he threw himself at them and hugged them all. Knowing just how easily he got lonely and depressed, they all returned the hugs with as much enthusiasm as they could muster. Even Luminara, who previously had ignored the hugs and had settled for pats on the shoulders, hugged Obi-Wan back, holding on a bit longer than the other padawans had.

If Obi-Wan was surprised by the hug from Luminara, he didn’t show it. He played it off cool, and maybe he shouldn’t have, but he was feeling good and happy. He wanted to feel like that all the time, and Luminara was the one who could make him like that.

That evening, when all five padawans were gathered around the holoscreen watching a program on the wildlife of Mon Calamari, Luminara stood and moved to the ‘fresher room. Obi-Wan couldn’t lie to himself that was watching her walk away, and he even flushed a little when his elbow was nudged by Quinlan, catching him staring at Luminara.

When she returned, she smiled at Obi-Wan, and as she passed him, she grabbed onto his braid and tugged on it playfully. The action left Quinlan flushed along with Obi-Wan. Even so, the redhead could not ignore the small jerk of her head when Luminara motioned for him to follow her out of the suite and out into the halls of the temple. Without any hesitation, he got up and followed her like a duckling following its mother.

Once they were outside and the door to the suite was closed, Luminara took Obi-Wan’s hands and took off in a dead sprint, leading him to a special place that he had not yet experienced. She was sure he was going to love it.

“Um… Hey, Luminara? W-where are you taking me?”

“Hush! Just hurry up so we don’t get caught!”

“Caught?!”

Anything he wanted to say after that was stuck in his throat as they picked up speed, no doubt with the help of the Force. As luck would have it, the Force was on their side with keeping them quiet, and they were able to slip past several Jedi wandering the halls in the fading light of the evening.

Finally, their destination was reached, a large set of double doors that somehow a cool draft was flowing from. Obi-Wan had never seen the doors before, and he wondered if Qui-Gon had ever been keeping them from him, or the temple was just so big that there were several things he had yet to learn about the place. The small, origin-lacking breeze blowing onto his face was so familiar, he felt his chest get tight and tears prick the corners of his eyes.

“Luminara… what is this place?”

“This is the entrance to a place where some Jedi go to meditate. My master has brought me here several times, but when I had heard that you hadn’t been here yet, I knew I had to bring you. It was just the right thing to do.” She smiled as she approached the doors and took the handles of the heavy doors in her hands.

“We’re not going to meditate here, are we?” Obi-Wan couldn’t help but smile as goosebumps covered his skin.

“No, we’re just going to relax in here.” With the words out of her mouth, she pulled open the doors, and the small breeze was replaced by a rush of cool air that blew Obi-Wan’s braid around.

The rich smell of earth filled his nostrils, the sounds of crickets and rushing water reached his ears, and bright green grass lit by moonlight was a welcome sight. It was just like his home planet of Stewjon. Rich in nature, calm, relaxing. It was what he knew of home. This _was_ home.

His hands rose up to his face, the tears flooding his eyes in a spell of homesickness. “Oh… Luminara… I-I didn’t know this existed! It’s so beautiful!” If only for a fleeting moment, Obi-Wan didn’t feel lonely or depressed, and he hadn’t even stepped inside the room yet.

“It’s like the Room of a Thousand Fountains on Dantooine. Only there are mainly streams here. They run through the whole room like a natural stream.” Luminara smiled at Obi-Wan and motioned for him to go inside.

Obi-Wan wasted no time at all stepping into the room and taking in deep breaths of the rich air. He dared not speak a word, fearing that all the crickets would suddenly silence in fear. He wanted the crickets to continue their songs forever. It had been years since he last had heard the sweet sounds of live crickets in the night. He didn’t stop himself from falling onto the grass that took over the short path at the entrance of the room, grabbing handfuls of it and feeling its smooth coolness. Truth be told, he felt like a child, but this was home! This was what he had grown up with.

Soon his boots were tossed to the side, as were his tunics so that he was left in just his trousers. He let loose a whoop and a laugh as he ran over the grass with his bare feet. The room was huge, the largest he had ever laid his eyes on. He couldn’t see the end of the room as he ran, and when he finally did reach the wall on the opposite side of the room, he had been running for several minutes. Back he ran to Luminara, his chest heaving as he took in large amounts of air, and he stopped just short of the Mirialan to step in one of the many streams and let the water run over his feet. He was unable to stop the childish giggle that came out.

“I take it you really like it in here,” Luminara said as she climbed the small hill in front of her to reach Obi-Wan, her own shoes having been taken off and abandoned for the feeling of soft grass beneath her feet.

“Luminara, I love it in here! It’s just like home back on Stewjon.” Obi-Wan sniffed, his nose running slightly from the chilly air and his tears.

“That’s why I wanted to show it to you. The hills in here are like the ones I heard described from Master Jinn when he went to Stewjon years ago. He said he was never much for the unnatural nature inside the temple, but he loved Stewjon so much that he would visit there often.”

Obi-Wan sighed and stepped out of the stream. As much as he liked standing there, it was a little too chilly in the night to be doing it. He seated himself on the bank and lay on his back, his arms tucked behind his head. “I can’t believe I never knew this room existed. I mean, I knew about the Room of a Thousand Fountains. Everyone knows about that room, but no one ever bothered to tell me about this room.”

“Honestly, not many Jedi know of this room here in the temple,” Luminara admitted, sitting beside Obi-Wan and picking a blade of grass. “Those of us who do know about it cherish it and care for it like we would if it were a habitat on a planet.”

“I hope this room never leaves, then.”

The two fell silent as they watched the stars on the ceiling. Though the sky was not the real one, it was made so that it simulated the real sky, and it followed star constellations and the sunlight amounts as each hour passed. Even some of the stars glittered like their real counterparts.

“You know, Obi-Wan, when you first came here, I hated you.” Luminara tossed the piece of grass she was playing with onto Obi-Wan.

“I kinda got that… you didn’t really seem to like me when we walked to the council room together.”

“I hated you even before we met, though. When the first word of you arriving on the steps of the temple floated around, I was jealous. You were taking away my master’s attention from me. He was so worried about you that he had forgotten about our training together for a few days. I thought to myself that the first time I met you, I was going to act like I didn’t care one bit for you, and I did. I didn’t act like myself… and I want to apologize for that.”

Obi-Wan sat up and looked at Luminara, studying her facial features as they were illuminated by the soft moonlight. The way the light reflected off her royal blue eyes was intoxicating. “I accept your apology. I wasn’t a favorite when I got here, and I expected the treatment you gave me honestly. I should have known better, so I want to apologize too.”

More silence filled the gap between them, and it wasn’t a very large gap. The width of a human palm could fit between them and nothing more, yet it felt like they were lightyears apart still to the redhead. Maybe it was the silence between them that made Obi-Wan act, but if he hadn’t have done anything right then, he would have missed an opportunity he would regret for the rest of his life. So he made his decision. He was going to do it, and his mind was set on it. There was no way she would be able to escape it, not with how close they were.

Obi-Wan pulled Luminara into a hug, a heartfelt embrace that filled his heart to the brim. It took even himself by surprise that he would hug Luminara like this, but his loneliness and depression was too much for him to bear on his own. He needed help, and now, Luminara seemed like the perfect person to help him. He trusted her deeply.

On the other end of the hug, Luminara went stiff for a second before she wrapped her arms around the boy next to her. She knew all about the pain he felt, the loneliness he struggled with when his friends were gone. She had wanted to help him since the moment he knew at least part of his backstory. He was in need of a friend, and she was willing to be that friend he could lean on no matter what. Aayla, Kit, and Quinlan were good friends of his already, but there was a different connection with Luminara. The Mirialan girl knew of this, but she had been denying it strongly until she could not have denied it any longer, and it was that fateful night that she had decided to let go of her denial and help Obi-Wan Kenobi become the best Jedi the galaxy had ever known. Plus, as a rather pleasant added bonus, he was rather handsome. Maybe in the future he could grow out his beard again…

After several minutes into the embrace, they pulled away from each other, their hands lingering on forearms with gentle touches. “Thank you, Luminara,” Obi-Wan said quietly. “You’ve helped me so much already. I don’t know how I can repay you.”

“Don’t worry about it. What are friends for anyways?” She smiled gently at him, then took his hand and kissed the knuckles gently.

Obi-Wan flushed and chuckled. “You have an odd way of showing friendship…”

“It’s not odd. It’s friendship.”


	7. Chapter 7

Months passed and gave way into the first full Coruscant year of Obi-Wan being at the Jedi temple. He had yet to hear any word from Dooku or Maul, or even the Dark Lord himself. Not that it was troubling him, but he did wonder if they had just gotten rid of him so they didn’t have to worry about him being a weak link in the Sith. Either way, Obi-Wan was getting better each passing day with his friends at his side. His attitude changed greatly for the better, and his depression was slowly but steadily getting better.

Luminara and Obi-Wan quickly became best friends, spending every moment they weren’t with their masters together. They spent endless nights laying in the Room of Streams, gazing up at the stars and talking about their lives, things they liked, and things they wished would happen. Dreams and hopes, wishes and desires shared between them every night with the accompanying sounds of crickets. It felt more like a fantasy to Obi-Wan, but he was glad that it was all very real.

Aside from their hanging out at night, Obi-Wan and Luminara also had the pleasure often of going on missions together. Obi-Wan was sure Qui-Gon had some part in that, but he wasn’t going to complain. He was closer to Luminara now than he ever thought he’d be, and it was glorious. To fight beside both Qui-Gon and Luminara was a dream come true. Of course Master Plo was there too to fight with them, but he wasn’t as important in Obi-Wan’s mind as the other two. If he could have had it his way, the now 19 year old would have had Plo stay at home where he was probably needed a lot more than out on the battlefield.

In fact there were several things Obi-Wan would much rather do with Plo than fight beside him. Yes, he would much like to lock him in a closet and starve him for a month or two. Then he would see who the better Jedi really was. It was something Obi-Wan often fantasied about doing to Dooku or Maul. Perhaps his brother even.

He had not thought about his brother in ages, and he didn’t really care for the older sibling. Obi-Wan never had cared about Owen. His brother was just a background character. Insignificant and useless. A filler. The only other one left in the Kenobi family. Obi-Wan was going to being justice and greatness to the Kenobi name, but Owen just had to be born first. Owen just had to be a weak, Force-blind waste of space that worried over the simple things. What to eat for the day, what to wear, what the livestock was going to be fed for the day, simple things that were silly and insignificant. Owen was a coward, unlike Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan would stand in the face of death and laugh hysterically. He always did have a dark sense of humor.

Obi-Wan’s use of his own lightsaber had concerned the council slightly when Mace Windu accompanied the padawan and his master on a trip to Geonosis. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon were a pain known across the galaxy for their lightsaber skills, and Obi-Wan had certainly learned a thing or two from his master already, but the way he executed most of his attacks was…troubling.

Windu had seen firsthand Obi-Wan’s skills and execution of attacks. He was violent, more so than his master who would much rather negotiate than fight. Still, the wildness that was Qui-Gon’s iconic style was also Obi-Wan’s, and his willingness to fight anything should have been a warning sign for all the Jedi watching the young padawan. Obi-Wan always had a wild look in his eyes when he was fighting his enemies, Windu had noticed. Maybe it was the boy’s origin that made him wild, seemingly bloodthirsty every time he fought. He always had a crooked little smile that quite honestly sent shivers down many backs. Certainly, Obi-Wan was one not to be messed with while in battle.

Seeing him in action caused Windu to question if the boy really was set on becoming a Jedi, obedient to the Light Side of the Force, or if he just wanted power. Street rats were never really clear on their motives, anyways.

Even though Windu, Yoda, and most of the Council was cautious about him, Obi-Wan went on about everything like he was living the best time of his life. Truth be honestly told, it was the best part of his short life. All he had known before was pain and the Dark Side. Now, he was happy and surrounded by people who loved and cared for him. It was the closest thing to a family he had had since his parents’ deaths.

When Obi-Wan was not out on the battle field taking out crime lords or restoring peace to planets, he often was found in one of three places in the temple; his room, the cafeteria, or the Room of Streams. There was hardly any other place he would have been, and not because he simply didn’t like the other places. He had no reason to be anywhere else yet. No word had gotten to him yet of what he should do. However, there was a feeling in the back of his mind, a feeling that was like a dark presence that grew stronger every day. Before, he had not noticed it, but after he had spent a year on Coruscant, that presence had made itself known. Whether it was someone from the Sith checking in on him or the Sith in him growing stronger, he could not say. But he had a feeling that whatever the Sith had wanted him to do from the beginning was going to be announced to him soon.

“Obi-Wan, you’re staring off into space again.”

Blinking and jerking his head in the direction the voice came from, Obi-Wan gazed upon the form of his master. He smiled and chuckled. “Sorry, Master. I was thinking of home again.”

“You day dream a lot. I don’t blame you, because you’ve only been with us for a year so far, but I still think you do it a bit too much.” Qui-Gon shook his head with a gentle smile. “We’ll work on that more from now on.”

“Yes, master…”

Birds chirped overhead with the bright sun shining and fluffy clouds rolling past in the blue sky. It was a calming environment, and though Obi-Wan’s hate for the sun and the color blue were still very much present, he did a good job of hiding it and enjoying the nice day on Naboo.

The two had taken a trip to Naboo to visit the queen and help her with some diplomatic issues, though politics was not Obi-Wan’s strength. He would much rather be focused on combat and friendship. Even so, he had to go where his master went, and Qui-Gon had been assigned to go to the queen’s aid. Luckily all the important stuff had happened in the morning, so the afternoon was free for him and Qui-Gon to relax before the dinner they were to attend that evening.

“Obi-Wan, you never told me where you lived before you were found on the steps of the temple.”

“Oh? I thought I did…” Obi-Wan chewed on his lip lightly in thought. “Oh, that was Luminara I told. I told her to keep it a secret, actually…”

“Would you mind telling me? If you’re okay with it, that is.”

“…Well, I was on Coruscant for a while before I was taken in. Before that… My home planet is Stewjon.”

Qui-Gon’s eye lit up excitedly. “I love Stewjon. It’s a nice place, and the scenery is absolutely stunning.”

“I haven’t been there in years, but yeah, it’s pretty nice. Luminara mentioned you had gone to visit there a while back. Where was it that you visited?”

“The High Plains and the Lopridar Hills. Did you live close to either of those places?”

Obi-Wan nodded, smiling and standing up. “I lived on a farm on the east side of the hills! We just called the area Ridar, and about half a day’s walk to the north is the Gregor Cliffs. My brother and I used to always play near the cliffs, and Mum would yell at us for getting to close to the edge.” He giggled and began to take his tunics off, to which Qui-Gon tilted his head curiously.

“What are you doing, padawan? You do realize we still have to look decent for tonight.”

“I know, Master. But back at home, all the men used to wear these things we called kilts. They look like skirts, but they’re the most prideful thing to wear back at home.” The boy took the tunics he had taken off and began to situate them around his waist.

“So you’re trying to make one now out of your tunics? My, what would the queen say about such an indecent padawan learner.” Qui-Gon chuckled as he watched Obi-Wan finish his makeshift kilt.

“Bah, the queen isn’t interested in how I look, so I don’t care right now.” Obi-Wan’s bare chest was, to be quite honest, a little too white. Clearly, he didn’t expose himself much, and he didn’t tan very easily.

“You know, I heard they’re going to elect a new queen soon. A younger one. Maybe you’ll have a chance with her.”

Obi-Wan gave an unamused look at his master, then took off running to the nearby lake. He ran through tall grass and wild flowers, the large waterfalls in the distance roaring proudly as he made a little skip in his step. Before he got to the water’s edge, he was dancing around and shouting joyously. He was still a boy at heart back on Stewjon, dancing to the sounds of pipes, flutes, and drums.

“I wish I had some music to play for you! You’re quite the dancer, Obi-Wan!”

Obi-Wan’s head was just barely peaking above the top of the grass, and his smile seemed to brighten, if it was even possible, even more as he heard his master.

“I want to dance to pipes again! I want to feel the rhythm of the drums in my feet as I stomp on the ground! Oh, master you should have seen my village before I left it! We would dance and party until kingdom come, all through the night!”

“I bet it would be quite a sight to see. Maybe we can go there sometime… You know, there is a ball after dinner tonight. Maybe they’ll play some music you’d like to dance to.”

Obi-Wan went still, gazing off at the waterfalls, his expression falling as he realized he shouldn’t have been so happy. He was a Sith, after all, and all this excitement was getting to be… too happy. If his old master could have seen him, he might have gotten hurt.

“Obi-Wan?”

The boy sank into the grass with a sigh, holding his head in his hands. He didn’t deserve to be happy. Not with all that had happened to him. Bad things always happened to him when he seemed to get too happy. Just like that, his happy moment was gone, and he was left with a dizzy head and an upset stomach. It had been so long since he had felt that bad that it actually scared him.

“Obi-Wan, are you okay?”

Obi-Wan looked up, and above him was his master. He hadn’t heard him walk up. “I’m alright, master… just thinking about home again.”

“You always say that.” Qui-Gon sighed and put his hands on his hips. “I think we really need to plan a trip to Stewjon soon. You’re always thinking about it.”

“Sorry, master… it’s just that that’s always been an excuse I used. Even before I arrived at the temple.”

“Is it a real excuse?”

“…Not always. But it is today.”

Obi-Wan was difficult to deal with sometimes. He wasn’t truthful all the time, and he constantly had fits of sadness or anger, none of which he could really control. Qui-Gon couldn’t really control it either, but somehow when the boy was around his friends, he was happier, more energetic. The same thing happened when he talked about his home, but then he would suddenly get sad, and all the progress he had made within a year seemed to all disappear in seconds.

“Let’s go for a swim, shall we?”

“Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow at his master. “What? Swimming?”

“Yes, swimming. You’re already half undressed.”

Obi-Wan smiled and chuckled lightly, then he stood up and dusted off his pants and makeshift kilt. “Okay, I guess a dip in the water would be okay.”

 

-x-x-x-

 

“So then I raced him to the edge of the water and stripped off all my clothes before he even made it past the grass and onto the sand.”

Luminara let out a laugh as she sat next to Obi-Wan in the Room of Streams. Their feet were beneath the water’s surface in one of the many streams in the room.

“You must have been really excited to get into the water. I don’t think I would have even been that fast.”

“Well, to be fair, Qui-Gon isn’t exactly the youngest Jedi. He is pretty active though. I’m surprised I even beat him to the water because of those monstrous legs he’s got.”

“Your master is quite tall… much taller than you.”

“I’m very much aware.”

Another fit of laughter came from both padawans. Both their masters knew they had a routine of talking to each other for most of the night, and so both were left alone most of the time to be together and to bond, even though their relationship was highly frowned upon by the Council.

“Luminara, I’ve been here for a whole year now.”

“Yes, you have. And it’s been one hell of a year.”

“You can say that again… But I feel like I’ve not been doing the best I can do. Qui-Gon has been a great master to me, and all the other Jedi have seemed to have gotten used to me more.”

“But?”

Obi-Wan sighed and laid back onto his back. “I don’t know. I feel like I’m still an oddball here.”

Luminara shook her head and reached out to grab Obi-Wan’s braid. “Obi-Wan, you’re still relatively new here. All the other Jedi here, padawans and younglings included, have been here longer than you. You might still feel that way for a while.” She tugged lightly on the braid, then stroked it with her hands.

“I know. But you see the awkwardness, don’t you? I just don’t fit in with everyone because I came here at an awkward time.”

“All I see is a bright young man who is trying his best to be a wonderful Jedi. And I’d say he’s doing a pretty good job at it right now, even if he’s not confident in himself.” She smiled at him and let go of his braid, choosing instead to lean against him with a sigh.

There was a bit of silence before Obi-Wan spoke again. “How do you think Quinlan is doing?”

“I’m sure he’s doing fine. He passed all his trials with flying colors, and now he’s a Jedi Knight.”

“I bet there’s a lot more freedom being a knight than a padawan.”

“Oh, of course there is, Obi-Wan. When you’re a knight, you’re not being taught anymore by Yoda or your master. There’s so much more freedom, but you still have to do what the Council asks of you.”

Obi-Wan huffed. “I don’t think the Council knows what they’re doing half the time. I think they just make it all up.”

Luminara’s eyes went wide as she sat back from Obi-Wan. “…You don’t mean that, do you?”

The look he gave her indicated that he did in fact mean it. She looked away from him and started playing with her own braid.

“Do you not sense it too, Luminara? All the texts that we had to read make the Council sound like a bunch of heroes who only want what’s best for the Order, but then you see them in action here and you’re kind of let down by how little they actually do.”

“…I haven’t sat in enough meetings to give you a straight answer.”

Obi-Wan sighed and sat back up, getting out of the water and grabbing his boots. “I’m going to bed. I’ll see you at breakfast.” And with that, he was gone, leaving Luminara alone in the Room of Streams.

Listening to the crickets chirp, Luminara felt her eyes grow wet. She was quick to wipe then before much else happened, but she had to admit she was a little upset at Obi-Wan’s view of the council. She wasn’t sure where she stood with the Council, but maybe if she went with her master more often to the meetings, she might make better sense of it.

“Obi-Wan, you big idiot…”

She stood up and grabbed her own boots. Obi-Wan was a sweet man, but when it came to politics, he had very strong views, and Luminara wasn’t sure she could handle that if she were to have any chance at getting closer to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stewjon is pretty much space Scotland. You can't tell me otherwise.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's about time I updated OMG

The dark feeling that had been growing in the back of Obi-Wan’s mind grew stronger every day. It seemed like every time he woke up, the darkness was there to greet him with a strong headache that wouldn’t go away until he mentally told it good morning, as if it were an actual living thing that begged for attention. Like a pet almost. Except this darkness was like no pet he had ever seen. It was safe to not compare it to a pet.

Obi-Wan had not told anyone about this darkness growing inside him. He knew that it was part of the Sith plan he was to carry out, even if it had taken a whole year for it to develop and prepare itself for the future. If anything, Obi-Wan was mildly concerned about it. Each morning when he got up, he checked his eyes in the mirror. They were always their normal color; steely-blue with so much passion behind them, but it never hurt to look, just to be safe.

One morning, Obi-Wan woke up like normal with a large headache. He bid the darkness good morning, but to his surprise, the headache did not go away. He tried telling it good morning once again, but it never responded like it normally had. With a struggle, Obi-Wan tossed the blankets off of his body and rushed to the mirror. It was hardly there, but there was a slightly red tint to the rims of his irises. His heart beat faster in his chest, and he didn’t know whether to be happy or scared. He hadn’t been doing much to provoke the change in his eyes, but if the darkness in his mind counted as something, then it surely would have been speeding his process in becoming a Sith Lord.

“Not yet… I can’t let them change now.”

Pushing away from the mirror, his headache grew stronger, making him wince and groan. Clearly the darkness hadn’t wanted him to say that. He was pretty sure there was someone responsible for the darkness in his mind, but whoever it was wasn’t happy with him.

And then all at once, a great weight seemed to take over his body and sent him crashing to the floor with a cry. No doubt the other padawans had heard that, but it wasn’t Obi-Wan’s main concern at that moment. He was more focused on the voice speaking to him in Sith, the voice being a whisper and a shout at the same time. It brought him great pain, pain that he could only recognize as being invaded by a Sith. By Dooku.

It was Dooku talking to him. He was giving him instructions. At last, the mission was being put into action, and the first thing Obi-Wan had to do was―

“Obi-Wan?! I’m coming in!”

Luminara’s voice pierced through the darkness that clouded Obi-Wan’s mind. It brought him back to reality as he heard the last of his instructions.

The door to his room was forced open by Luminara, Kit and Aayla standing behind her with worried looks. The Mirialan was instantly at Obi-Wan’s side, and when she found him curled up into a ball with tears streaming down her face, she ordered someone to go find Qui-Gon quickly. In the meantime, she tried to touch his face, noting the large scar had been clawed at and was bleeding in several spots. Her hands were gentle, but Obi-Wan just seemed to cry out in pain at any sort of contact. There was a point where he pushed her away, screaming in such pain that it brought tears to her eyes. Seeing her best friend in such a distressed state hurt her. She was helpless to help him.

It felt like forever before Qui-Gon arrived to the padawans’ suite. His face was creased with much worry for Obi-Wan, especially once he saw that the scar had been ripped open once more. It was a sad sight to take in. Obi-Wan had been good about not having anxiety attacks over small things, but whatever had happened to cross his mind that morning was harmful to him.

“Obi-Wan, can you hear me?” Qui-Gon did his best to call to his padawan through their bond, but he was met with a dark, clouded wall.

Obi-Wan did not respond, just continued to groan and whimper at the pain he was experiencing. He could not move. The pain paralyzed him. He did not speak. The pain had frozen his tongue. Even the voices that were piercing through the darkness were fading fast, as was his consciousness.

“Obi-Wan, stay with me!”

“Obi-Wan…”

And that was all he heard before all voices and consciousness disappeared completely.

 

-x-x-x-

 

Many months passed as Obi-Wan refused to come out of his darkness-induced coma. It hadn’t been the plan for Obi-Wan to pass out, but when he had denied the changing color of his eyes, something had snapped, and then he was out.

As any other person would in a coma, Obi-Wan could hear all his friends talk to him and worry over him, but he never responded. Not once did he open his eyes or make any sort of sound. He was unresponsive to the environment around him, but inside his mind, he was fairly active. Plans of how to carry out his mission and how to do it stealthily ran through his head, courtesy of the voices speaking to him in Sith through an invisible bond.

While Obi-Wan was unconscious, Luminara did her best to visit him every day, bringing him some of his favorite things in hopes of him seeing them when he woke up. She was very upset that her best friend couldn’t be with her. Each day he didn’t wake up tore her apart, and it was showing. Her master was beginning to become very worried for her wellbeing. Qui-Gon and Plo were beginning to doubt their encouragement for the two padawans to become friends. After all, attachments were forbidden, and the friendship between Luminara and Obi-Wan was much more than just friendship.

Perhaps it was time to separate them…

Luminara sighed as she looked at Obi-Wan’s emotionless face for the fifth time in that visit. She was restless, always worrying over the redhead. She knew what she was doing was not good, and that she should always release her emotions into the Force. But as time went on, she found it growing increasingly harder to do that.

Silently, Plo entered the room, starling Luminara as soon as he put his hand on her shoulder. “Luminara, I think it’s time we had a talk.”

“Master? What do you mean?”

“I mean your friendship with Obi-Wan. I believe it’s becoming a little too unhealthy for you.”

“What? Why?!” Fear shone in the girl’s eyes like Plo had never seen before. She knew what she was doing was wrong.

“Luminara, please calm down. I’m not telling you to stop being friends with him. I’m just saying that maybe you two need to… take a break from each other.”

The young Mirialan shook her head, a betrayed look on her face. “Master… you aren’t saying that―”

“Yes, I am saying that your attachment to him has gotten out of hand.” Plo sighed and crouched down so he was down at his padawan’s level. “Luminara, I know you don’t like it, but Obi-Wan is going to get the same talk from his master once he wakes up. You two are best friends, and both Qui-Gon and I respect that. We just don’t want your attachment to turn your friendship into something more that you know is against the code.”

Tears flooded Luminara’s vision and blinded her, just as her attachment to Obi-Wan had blinded her from the Jedi Code. She was a fool for ever thinking she could be with him in a relationship that was more than friendship.

“I’m sorry, Master… I have failed you.” Her words came out watery as they were being drowned in her tears.

“No, my young padawan. You are simply leaning the ways of the Jedi. Some things you learn are going to be hard, but in learning them, you will become a fantastic Jedi Knight one day.” Plo stood back up and pulled his padawan into a hug. “I believe in you.”

Luminara sniffed and wiped the tears from her eyes. She looked at Obi-Wan with longing, knowing she would never be able to be with him… At least not with the eyes of the Jedi watching her. A secret relationship seemed like her best option at that moment. She just had to discuss it with Obi-Wan and see what he thought about it. Assuming, of course, he wanted to be with her as much as she wanted to be with him.

She sighed heavily and let herself be led out by her master. _I’ll be back soon_ , she thought, projecting it to Obi-Wan through the Force.

 

-x-x-x-

 

Obi-Wan was as distant as ever with his friends. Ever since he had escaped his coma, he was silent and emotionless. It was for sure scaring all his friends, but no matter how hard they tried, he would not show any interest in anything except sparring. Even as he went on mission with Qui-Gon, he was uninterested in everything except using his lightsaber. It was like all he wanted to do was fight. It was concerning to not only his master and his friends, but also the Council.

Luminara and Obi-Wan did not spend their nights together in the Room of Streams like normal. Instead, Obi-Wan rarely came out of his room to socialize with anyone. He never mentioned anything about going to the room and hanging out. In fact, he had stopped talking to Luminara altogether. It cut the girl deep. She had still wanted to talk to Obi-Wan, to be by his side and comfort him through whatever it was he was going through. She just wanted to help him, but without knowing what was wrong, she could do nothing. All she could do was sit across the room from him and watch him with hurt expressions.

Then, nearly four months after waking from the coma, Obi-Wan approached Luminara with the same emotionless expression he had worn for what seemed like forever. Luminara missed his smile dearly.

“Come with me,” he said to her in the dead of night, standing in the middle of the suite’s living room.

Bright moonlight shone on her skin, as did his. Their silent journey through the halls of the temple seemed to last forever, and at last they reached the large doors that were so familiar to them. Obi-Wan turned to Luminara, holding her hand tight as he looked at her. The moment was short, confusing. But it held so much meaning to Luminara that she clung to it as Obi-Wan led her inside the room.

The familiar smells, sounds, and sights were welcoming to both padawans, and for the first time since he woke up, Luminara saw Obi-Wan’s expression change from nothing to relaxed, pleased, grateful for the return to the Room of Streams.

“Obi-Wan… We haven’t been in here for several months.”

“I know. It’s been far too long.” He pulled her towards the stream they usually dipped their feet into, sitting down on the bank with a sigh and crossing his legs.

Luminara sat down beside him, wanting nothing more but to lean into him and take in his scent she had missed just as much as his smile. “You’ve been worrying me, you know,” she said quietly.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

The sounds of the streams were soothing to both. Yet, there was an uneasiness about Obi-Wan that made Luminara sigh and squeeze his hand. She hadn’t realized they were actually holding hands.

“You’re so tense…” She ran her other hand up his arm to his neck, then down his back. He shivered a little.

“Sorry.”

“Please try to relax, Obi-Wan. I know you’re still dealing with something, but just relax. You’re safe here.” Luminara finally dared to lean against Obi-Wan, hugging his arm and resting her head on his shoulder. She let her eyes slip closed, and she sighed. This right here felt so right. But did he feel the same?

He must have, because Obi-Wan rested his hand on her thigh. Some of his tension was released at her touch, which was a relief to her.

“Obi-Wan…You mean a lot to me. I… I love you.”

Obi-Wan was silent. Very silent. It made Luminara want to take back her words.

After some more silence, Obi-Wan turned his face to Luminara, his expression almost unreadable except for the small bit of pain in his eyes. Then slowly, they came together, their lips connecting for the first time and, oh, it was electric. A spark ignited inside their hearts, the beginnings of the flame of passion that they would come to know as love.

Over and over they kissed each other until they were breathless. Their hands wandered over each other’s skin by light of the moon, by sounds of water and crickets. It was, summed up into one word, magical.

Obi-Wan was the one to pull back first and catch his breath. He stared deep into Luminara’s eyes, getting lost in them as she leaned back into him to hug him.

“Luminara, I love you too.”

The Mirialan flushed and giggled. “You’re so odd. I don’t know how I still like you, even after all we’ve been through together."

“That’s a question I think we should be asking a long time from now. When everything isn’t as complicated as it is now, as we can just be together in peace.” Obi-Wan reached his hand out to stroke Luminara’s braid. “I’ve never seen your actual hair before… It’s always been up in that headdress of yours.”

Luminara hesitated to respond. “Yes, I know… it’s a cultural thing, actually. I mean, you probably guessed that already but…” She flushed a little. “It’s supposed to be that Mirialan’s are not allowed to show their hair to anyone but their mate. And hair can’t be shown until after we are legally in union with each other. Padawan braids are the only exception to this.”

“So you can’t show your hair to anyone until you’re married.”

“In theory, yes.”

The two were silent as they leaned up against each other, enjoying being in the Room of Streams again. It was Obi-Wan who spoke up at the end of the silence.

“So if you knew who you were to be married to… would you show your hair to them before the marriage happened?”

“Obi-Wan, I know you really want to see my hair, but I can’t show you. It would be unwise of me. It’s a symbol of purity as well as independence. I cannot show you my hair… I’m sorry.”

Silence dragged on until the two of them returned back to their rooms. The rest of the padawans were asleep by that time, so when they entered the suite, it was quiet. Just like it always was. Obi-Wan took the opportunity to grab Luminara’s chin and kiss her once more. It was a quicker kiss, but their second kiss nonetheless, and it held deep meaning in both of their hearts. Sure, they were getting into something forbidden, but in the end, maybe it was worth it. Perhaps the Council would let them have their relationship as long as they didn’t make it their top priority. Luminara would have been perfectly fine with that, and she was sure Obi-Wan would be as well.

As big as the urge was to sleep in the same bed together, Obi-Wan and Luminara returned to their individual rooms for the night. It would prevent anything from happening that they might not have been ready for yet, though the only thing that would have happened was them getting caught in the morning. Padawans were supposed to sleep in their own beds. There was no exception to that rule.

For the first time in a long time, Obi-Wan slept well during the night. His dreams were filled with Luminara and his mind’s creations of what her hair might have looked like when it was out of the headdress. Long, flowing, silky with a hint of deep blue shinning in the sun, it was like the life Obi-Wan wanted to live. A life free from both the Jedi and the Sith. Now that was the perfect life.

Sometime in the morning, Obi-Wan woke up to his master calling him on his comm unit. He was too tired to attempt to act like he had been awake for any long period of time, so when he answered, he was very groggy and blinded slightly by the morning light of the sun shining on his face.

“Morning, Master. Did I miss our morning meditation again?”

“No. Well, yes, but I’m not entirely worried about it today,” Qui-Gon said with his usual even tone. “How long have you been awake?”

“I just woke up.”

Qui-Gon sighed, rubbing his face. “How quickly can you get ready for the day?”

Obi-Wan crawled out of his bed and stretched, yawning loudly. “A few minutes? Are we going somewhere?”

“I need you in the council room in ten minutes. We’re getting briefed on a new mission, so hurry up.”

“Yes, Master.”

Obi-Wan made record time getting dressed and washed up. He left the suite without even bidding his friends good morning, his still too big cloak flowing behind him as he ran. His lightsaber clipped at his hip, his boots still a little loose from lack of proper tightening, and his cloak tripping him up every so often, Obi-Wan ran to the council room where his master was waiting patiently for him. He was glad that the Council did not seemed bothered by the fact that he had burst in running. Apparently the new mission was very important.

“Good morning, Obi-Wan,” Windu said, the hint of a smile on his face. Rare.

“Morning, Master,” the boy replied.

“Did you sleep well last night?”

“…Yes?”

Qui-Gon put his hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder, squeezing it gently. “I hope you’re ready for a long trip.”

Inwardly, Obi-Wan groaned. “A long trip? Where are we going? To the edge of the galaxy?”      

“To the Outer Rim, at least.” Windu sat back in his seat and tucked his hands into the sleeves of his cloak. “You’re headed to Mandalore. There are some diplomatic issues that need resolving, and the people of Mandalore refuse to not have the Jedi involved.”

“So just my master and I are going?” Obi-Wan hoped they weren’t going alone. This mission sounded like it was too much to handle for a lone Jedi master and his padawan.

“No, you will be joined by Master Koon and his padawan. I trust this won’t be an issue?”

Both master and padawan nodded their heads, agreeing that the mission would be a successful one, no matter what kind of tests would be thrown their way.

“Good. Be prepared to leave as soon as possible. The Mandalorians are awaiting your arrival.”


	9. Chapter 9

Mandalore had been everything Obi-Wan honestly expected it to be. Elegant, busy, everyone seemed to always be on the move. Obi-Wan wasn’t particularly fond of the bustling life of Mandalore, but seeing as he had no choice in whether he left or not, he supposed it wasn’t all so bad if he ignore literally all the busy people. They all made him nervous to say the least. So many people in one spot, it was just so ridiculous to the padawan.

Back and forth Obi-Wan and his master went to Mandalore. Luminara and her master also went along with them, though there were a few times where they did not accompany Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. The missions to Mandalore were strictly for Obi-Wan and his master. Luminara and Plo just happened to be able to go with them most of the time, and Obi-Wan was happy because of that. The many people of Mandalore, though the accents were similar to Obi-Wan’s, were offering no comfort to the struggling padawan. He simply didn’t feel at home on Mandalore like the Council thought he might.

The trips piled up over time, Obi-Wan growing more and more familiar with the people and culture of Mandalore until he felt like he was one of the population. A full standard year’s worth of visits passed. Obi-Wan knew that the Council was still testing him with the visits, but he was at the point where they were enjoyable and a welcome break from all his other missions. He found it difficult to come to the realization that he was beginning to feel like he belonged. Every person he passed when on Mandalore would greet him warmly, as if he were a normal citizen from one of the many domed cities on the planet’s surface. He felt normal, and not like he was being forced to go.

On Mandalore, Obi-Wan felt at home after the full year of visiting.

Mandalore was the one place he could escape from both the Jedi and the Sith. Being 20 years old and just barely starting off as a padawan was hard enough on him as it was. So every trip to Mandalore was a blessing.

One particular trip was one that Obi-Wan would hold dear in his heart until his dying breath. It was the trip where he would get to meet the next Duchess. He was excited to meet her, but he wasn’t so sure he could have said the same for Luminara. Of course, he knew exactly why that was. Obi-Wan was getting to meet a new lady who was his age, and there was always that thought in the back of the Mirialan’s mind that Obi-Wan might leave here for the new girl. It was just a thing that happened, but Obi-Wan was used to it, and he knew not to push his limits too far.

Luminara and Obi-Wan wandered the halls of an extravagant building in the main city on Mandalore. They were alone, their masters off doing their own things and most other people busy with their own day-to-day activities. Having the moment together, they took advantage of being able to hold hands and lean against each other. Their relationship had been kept a secret from their masters, for fear that they might be separated until they were Jedi Knights. That was a fate that neither of them could handle, seeing as Obi-Wan had a much longer time being a padawan than Luminara. She had only two more years. Obi-Wan still had eight more. It was the disadvantage of becoming a padawan at 18 years old.

Over the course of the two years Obi-Wan had been a padawan, he had, at least, finally grown a little taller. He now stood five feet and nine inches tall, three inches more than the height he was when he had arrived at the temple. He was happy with his new height, thanks mainly to the better nutrition and exercise he had been given as a padawan. His muscles had also developed quite nicely, which Luminara loved. She would never admit it though.

The two padawans had been put onto guard duty, searching the long halls for any intruders or others who didn’t belong in the building. That night was to be the gala where the new duchess was to be announced, and Obi-Wan could tell there was a little tension in Luminara by the way she gripped his hand. He sighed and stopped his feet, pulling her to a stop as well.

“Lumi, what’s wrong? Are you nervous about tonight?”

Luminara was hesitant to answer, but at least she looked up at Obi-Wan. “No… well, maybe a little.”

“You know you don’t have to worry. I’m not going to leave you for anyone else.”

“I know, but… Obi, I don’t want to lose you to some girl who thinks she’s better for you.” Luminara let her eyes fall back to the ground with a sigh. “I don’t want you to think I’m not good enough for you.”

“Luminara, you are my universe. There’s no way I would ever let you go for some other pretty girl. You have my word.”

Though she knew it was true, she still looked skeptical, scared to lose her best friend to some girl who was prettier and much richer than she was. “Promise me you won’t leave me for the duchess. I couldn’t go on if you did.”

“I promise I won’t leave you. I would never harm you like that. I would never harm you in any way.” Obi-Wan cupped her face with his gentle hands and leaned forward to kiss her. “We promised we’d be together all the way through knighthood until we became masters, and I intend on keeping that promise.”

“Promise me again, please. I want to sure…”

Obi-Wan pulled Luminara into a hug and held her as close as possible. “I love you, Lumi. I’m never going to leave you for anyone else. I promise.”

Luminara hid her face in Obi-Wan’s chest, taking in his scent slowly and memorizing it. “I love you too, Obi-Wan. Forever.”

“And always,” Obi-Wan finished their little saying like they had said to each other every single day since their relationship began. “You have nothing to worry about, Lumi. Tonight is going to be fun. We’ll get to dance and sing, and not to mention eat as much food as we want.”

“I do like a lot of food,” Luminara said with a giggle. “You’re sharing dessert with me, okay?”

“Yes, just like always.” Obi-Wan chuckled and kissed Luminara gently on the lips.

“Good. Because I don’t want you sharing with the future duchess. I heard she’s a bit uptight.”

“Uptight? Like on what level? Master Windu level or Quinlan level?”

Luminara snorted. “Master Windu level, definitely. Quin is nowhere near as uptight as she is.”

Obi-Wan couldn’t hold in his bark of laughter. “I’ll make sure I stay away from her as much as possible then. I wouldn’t want to be bored to death like I would be with Master Windu.”

It was Luminara’s turn to snicker, and she covered her mouth with her hand. “Oh stars, you need to control yourself, padawan,” she mocked Master Windu’s commanding voice.

The two fell into a fit of laughter until Obi-Wan had to lean against one of the many columns holding up the ceiling for support. Still, he ended up on the floor laughing hard with Luminara doubled over in front of him. The sounds of their laughter echoed off of the high roof and pillars. It was a happy sound among all the trouble that had been going around Mandalore for a standard year.

Eventually the two calmed enough to breath and relax again, and Obi-Wan stood back up with a sigh. “We should probably finish up our rounds, and then we can go get ready for the gala tonight.”

Luminara nodded as they began walking again. “I wish we didn’t have to wear our Jedi clothes. I would much rather like to dress up a little for tonight, but I guess the Council didn’t like that idea.”

“We’ll have a chance to dress up some time. I’m sure of it.” Obi-Wan took Luminara’s hand and kissed it gently. “You’d look absolutely stunning, my dear.”

Luminara flushed. “You’re too kind, Obi. But to be fair, you’d look just as good. All handsome and dressed up in a proper suit. Yes, I should like to see you like that at some point.”

“Eventually, Lumi. One day, we will be dressed up gorgeously for a really big occasion, and even among all the commotion and activity, you’ll be the only thing catching my eyes, standing in the corner and sipping on some bubbly drink and the light shining on your skin just right…”

“Or how about us in the middle of the dance floor with hundreds of eyes on us alone, watching us sway to the music beautifully like it takes no effort.” Luminara sighed and reached her free hand up to play with her braid.

“Maybe we should add a couple of rings to our fantasy.”

Luminara stopped dead in her tracks and looked at Obi-Wan with wide eyes. “…What?”

“You know…something that would be symbolic of our bond.”

“Obi… You know that sort of thing is forbidden.”

“The Council won’t know if we wear gloves.”

“If we wear gloves? Obi-Wan, do you not hear me? It is forbidden for us to be bonded to each other for life. We could get expelled from the Order!”

Obi-Wan was silent, looking at Luminara with a seriousness that made Luminara’s blood run cold.

“Obi-Wan… please, I love you. Don’t do this to us. You will always have me, nothing is going to change that, but proposing that we get married is a little… much right now. We should wait to think about this more until after you are a Jedi Knight. We’ll both have clearer heads about this, and we won’t be under the watch of masters all the time.”

For a brief moment, Obi-Wan’s eyes slowly grew a sickly glowing yellow. Obi-Wan didn’t notice it, and Luminara thought she was seeing things, so she blinked, and the yellow was gone. She swallowed and waited for a response from Obi-Wan.

“You’re right,” he said after a while. “We should talk about this more a few years down the road. When we’re more mature and can handle our relationship better.” Obi-Wan smiled gently and stepped closer to Luminara once more.

“Yes, so please don’t bring up that subject again until you are a knight, okay?” Luminara reached up to cup Obi-Wan’s face, wondering for the umpteenth time how he might look with his facial hair back.

“Okay,” he agreed stiffly. Clearly he didn’t like it, but he would obey it for her.

“Good.” Luminara smiled and kissed Obi-Wan on the lips. “I do love you, so please don’t forget that I will always be yours. No matter what happens, I’ll always belong to you.”

“And I to you.” Obi-Wan nuzzled Luminara’s nose with his own and chuckled lightly. “Forever.”

“And always,” Luminara finished.

 

-x-x-x-

 

The gala was as impressive at Obi-Wan would have thought it to be. People of high class were everywhere, waiters scurrying around between people dancing and dining. The energy was so high in the large room that Obi-Wan couldn’t help but smile at everyone around him.

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan made their way to their designated seats towards the front of the room and near the podium where the future duchess was to be introduced. It would be a lie to say that Obi-Wan wasn’t excited at least a little bit to know who it was. He wondered if it was someone he had come into contact with in the year he had been making visits to Mandalore. Perhaps it was someone he had never seen before, and he would have the pleasure of getting to know them. Of course, it wouldn’t be to the extent of getting to know Luminara. That extent was reserved for the beautiful Mirialan he had come to call his own only. The duchess would likely only become a good friend.

Being seated at their table, Obi-Wan looked around the grand room with wide eyes. Of all the times he had visited Mandalore, this had to be the greatest time so far. The room was more spectacular that the Jedi temple back on Coruscant, and that was saying something.

“Enjoying the view, my young padawan?”

Obi-Wan turned his head to look at his master with a smile. “Greatly. It’s so beautiful here.”

“Indeed, this place really is quite grand. I am impressed myself.” Qui-Gon chuckled and patted Obi-Wan on the back. “How did your rounds go earlier?”

“Good. Luminara and I didn’t find anything suspicious, as usual. Everything was safe and ready for tonight.”

“Good job, Obi-Wan. You know, I’m proud of you. You’ve come a very long way from where you were a few years ago. It seems like only yesterday you arrived on the steps of the temple…” Qui-Gon sighed and closed his eyes, leaning back in his chair.

“Thank you, Master. I have appreciated all I have learned from you in my time by your side.” Obi-Wan bowed to his master respectfully, feeling a small twinge in his heart reminding him of his old master. Dooku had never been as kind as Qui-Gon. Dooku had been abusive. Qui-Gon was loving. Had the image of a family not been tainted by the Dark Side, Obi-Wan might have viewed Qui-Gon as a father figure.

Soon Luminara and Plo joined the two at the table, taking their seats with Luminara next to Obi-Wan. The two padawans began to chatter about who the new duchess might be and how she would act and govern. While they discussed the future, Plo leaned over to Qui-Gon to strike up a conversation of their own.

“I heard that Knight Vos will be here tonight. I believe our padawans will be excited to see him again.”

“Oh yes, indeed,” Qui-Gon agreed with a smile. “And I should think he’d be just as excited to see our padawans.”

“I should think so too. He hasn’t seen Obi-Wan or Luminara in quite some time.”

The two padawans turned their heads to look at their masters at the mention of their names. The two masters as the padawans gave confused looks before returning to their own conversation.

“Our padawans have been getting along quite well as of late.”

Qui-Gon nodded. “They’ve certainly become good friends. I’m glad Obi-Wan has found someone he can talk to easily. Even a year ago he would still be sitting in silence and avoiding all types of conversation. He’s come a long way.”

“Indeed he has, but I must warn you. Your pride you have in him now will make it hard for you to let him go. You must not get attached to him, Master Jinn,” Plo hid his hands in his sleeves.

“I know, Master Koon. I’m quite familiar with the Jedi Code and how I have fallen from it before…” Qui-Gon’s shoulders fell at the emotional memory of a past padawan that had fallen. “I am trying hard to teach Obi-Wan right and to guide him onto the right path.”

“I know you are, and so far you are doing a spectacular job. I applaud you for a job well done thus far. You just need to remember to keep the Code strictly in mind before you act.”

“Yes… it seems though that this line of masters and padawans I’m has not had the best luck. Yoda taught Dooku and he fell to the Dark Side. Dooku taught me, and I stayed on the Light Side. I taught Xanatos, and he fell to the Dark Side as well. He is still out there, and I still feel like I can stop him and turn him back.” Qui-Gon sighed and shook his head, leaning forward to rest arms on the table. “But perhaps I am too late now.”

“Xanatos was unstable and was not the right padawan for you. You did do your best to teach him, but it just didn’t work for him. You should not be so hard on yourself for his fall.” Plo rested a hand on the other Jedi’s shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly.

“So this is where the family reunion is being held,” a familiar voice seemed to ring out, and the tow padawans turned their heads so quickly their braids swung violently around. Standing near the table with his hands on his hips was the newly knighted Quinlan Vos.

“Knight Vos,” Qui-Gon greeted with a smile. “We were wondering when you were going to arrive.”

Obi-Wan and Luminara were up from their seats in an instant and were running to the Jedi Knight with wide smiles. The three collided together in a group hug that reminded them of their closeness they had when he was still a padawan.

“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you guys,” Quinlan said after they had parted from their hug. “Are you two still doing well in your learning?” He reached a hand out to cup Obi-Wan’s head fondly.

“Yes,” they both replied.

“I still can’t believe I’ve only got two more years of being a padawan,” Luminara said shaking her head. “Time is flying by.”

“You’re telling me,” Quinlan chuckled. “You’ve grown, Obi. You don’t look so much like a youngling anymore.”

“Blunt as always.” Obi-Wan chuckled and shook his head.

“Of course. Can’t sugar coat anything, can I?” The knight smirked and went to take a seat next to Qui-Gon. “And how have the masters of the padawans been doing? Keeping up with them well?”

“Yes, it’s been quite difficult without you around to keep them in line,” Plo joked as the two padawans returned to their seats.

“Oh yes, very difficult. They never listen to us,” Qui-Gon added with a chuckle.

“Man, I should have stayed around longer it seems. You been stirring up too much trouble again, Obi?”

“Very funny. I happen to spend most of my time at the temple on Coruscant when I’m not here in Mandalore.” Obi-Wan rolled his eyes, then leaned forward onto the table. “Speaking of which, what are you doing here, Quin? I thought you went back to your home planet to help rebuild some villages.”

Quinlan nodded and cleared his throat. “I did go back home, but I didn’t stay for long. There was no need for me to. So I’ve been hopping around here and there, and I just happened to hear there was a big ceremony going on here on Mandalore, so I thought I’d drop by and say hello.”

“So you’re not here on a mission,” Luminara asked.

“Nope. I’m kinda vacationing around a little before I go back to Coruscant.”

“The Council let you do that?” Luminara’s eyes widened.

“They gave me a little time off before I jump in with the missions all the time. I should return to Coruscant at the end of this year.” Quinlan grabbed a drink from a passing waiter and winked at them before taking a sip of the drink.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, guests of all regions of the galaxy, we shall be starting the ceremony soon, so if you all would take your seats, we shall begin momentarily.” The man standing at the podium looked sharp in his gala outfit, and Luminara wondered how Obi-Wan might look in it.

“Well, looks like we’ll be meeting the new duchess soon,” Quinlan commented as he sat his drink down. “You think she’ll be a good leader for Mandalore?”

“From what I’ve heard about her,” Qui-Gon said, “She’ll make a wonderful leader. I have high hopes for her future as the Duchess of Mandalore.”

“I hope she’s nice,” Luminara said with a little bit of an icy edge with her words.

Goosebumps formed on Obi-Wan’s skin and he swallowed, looking over at Quinlan and chuckling nervously. Quinlan gave a knowing look but kept silent. Good, he wasn’t going to spill the beans about Obi-Wan and Luminara to their masters.

Soon the announcer was back at the podium and started a long speech about Mandalore’s government and what its plans were for the future. The speech seemed to take up half of the ceremony with how long it went on. Obi-Wan was sure he caught himself dozing off several times before the announcer stopped talking and the crowd applauded. He, of course, began clapping too, aware that the speech was over and the next part of the ceremony was underway.

“Now, ladies and gentlemen, I am honored to introduce to you Mandalore’s next duchess. She is young and smart, and has a willingness to serve her home unlike any I have seen before. I can assure you all she will be a great leader for us, and a wonderful representative of Mandalore.

“Ladies and gentlemen, Satine Kryze!”


	10. Chapter 10

Satine was a very beautiful young woman to say the very least. Her robes flowed elegantly behind her as she approached the podium, and Obi-Wan couldn’t stop his heart from skipping a beat when he saw her. He almost felt bad for it, especially when he glanced back at Luminara and saw her hard stare directed right at him. He swallowed and looked back at Satine.

Satine’s speech was less than enjoyable. It was full of politics and the like, stuff Obi-Wan didn’t care for, and neither did Luminara or Quinlan. The three sat at the table barely registering that someone was talking. Instead they began to levitate small objects to their own amusement, until they were scolded by the two masters, in which they had to stop and pay attention to the speech. It dragged on forever, and Obi-Wan made a mental note that even if Satine was very pretty, she talked far too much, and she would most likely bore him to death, which was not the way he planned to go out at all.

When the whole ceremony was finally over, the two padawans and Quinlan made their way out to a balcony to look out at Mandalore at night. Such a plain planet with beautiful cities contained in airtight bubbles, it really was a shame the rest of the planet couldn’t see the magnificent cities, bask in the glory that was Mandalore and its people.

Obi-Wan sighed as he leaned against the railing on the balcony, looking up at the lights illuminating the bubble he was contained in. In that moment, he felt very small.

A gentle hand found its way onto Obi-Wan’s shoulder, and he turned to see Luminara looking at him with a concerned expression. “Are you okay, Obi?”

The redhead looked at Luminara for a bit before he shrugged and turned to look back out at the city. “I don’t know. I don’t feel right now. I was doing just fine before the ceremony started, but now… I don’t know.”

Quinlan came up and turned Obi-Wan to face him, strong hands on shoulders. “Hey, come on. Chin up, Obi-Wan. I don’t know what’s got you down all of a sudden, but kick it out of your mind and focus. Keep your mind in the here and now. You’ll end up dead if you don’t.”

Obi-Wan swallowed. How many times had he been punished by Dooku for letting his mind wander? “Sorry, Quin… I don’t feel well. I think I need to go the ‘fresher.”

“Do you need help?” Luminara gently put her hand back on Obi-Wan’s shoulder.

“No,” Obi-Wan snapped a little more than he would have liked. “Sorry… Excuse me.” He bowed and went off in search of a place to relax and go over the thoughts in his head. As he left, Luminara gave him a hurt look, though understanding peeking through as the familiar red hair disappeared into the crowd.

Obi-Wan’s vision was spotty. He was hearing that voice again, the voice of the Dark Lord. The voice that was telling him of his mission, and he had tried so hard to ignore it over the course of time. That night however was impossible, and the voice filling his head was suddenly louder than anything else in the room. Luminara and Qui-Gon, both calling out to him through the Force, worried and wondering what was going on. He ignored them. It was easy to ignore them. Not so easy to ignore the Dark Lord screaming in his ear.

He didn’t want to do it.

_No, I won’t do it! I won’t! Not here!_

Now was not the time. He was having fun. Obi-Wan was finally having fun after years of darkness. He just wanted to be left alone now. Leaving his old home with the Sith made him realized just how he had been living. In darkness.

_You must. This is your mission. This is what you were born for._

Obi-Wan was nor born for this. He was not born to carry out such a plan, to destroy all that he had been working for that made him happy. No, he would not do it. He decided right then he wasn’t going to do it. He wasn’t going to carry out the plan.

Somehow Obi-Wan ended up outside the building, away from anyone, and he really had to wonder how it was that he was not stopped at all by any of the Mandalorians around. He was pretty sure he had been running, which was certainly a good reason to stop him. A young padawan running desperately around to get outside, get away from reality, get away from everything, get away get away!

Obi-Wan gasped for air as he clutched his chest. Everything hurt. The Light, the Dark, sound, touches, everything hurt. He didn’t know where reality ended and his mind started, all the pain seemed similar, and there was no way to escape it.

His breathing quickened as he covered his ears, closed his eyes, leaned against the dark building with tears streaming down his face. Silent sobs took over his body, shook him as he feared for his life. Why him? Why was he the one chosen to carry out this mission? What did the Dark Lord see in him that would have qualified him to carry out the mission as a Sith spy? Sure, he had been doing this already for a few years, but it was becoming increasingly hard to continue to do. He didn’t want to be a Sith anymore. The Jedi were much more appealing to him now, so why would he want to go back to the abuse he had endured for so many years? It just made no sense to do so.

A new wave of pain shot through him like lightning, every nerve in his body aching to be free, to feel normal again. Every fiber of his being longed to return to the Sith yet stay with the Jedi at the same time. Why was it so hard to pick a side? He knew where his loyalty was, or did he really?

He wanted to scream, scream out his anger, his pain, the frustration he was feeling, the itching, burning sensation in his eyes that just would not go away no matter how hard he tried to make it go away. When he looked through tear-blurred vison, he swore he saw red at the edges. He panicked. Nonononono not now! Not here where he was vulnerable, not now where he could expose himself―

There were several arms around him, he realized. Luminara, Qui-Gon, Quinlan, they were all crouched around him and holding him tight, protecting him. His eyes widened at the realization, and suddenly he was sobbing loudly into his friend’s shoulders. How pathetic of him, but he felt safe now, no longer threatened by the looming Dark Lord. Never had he felt safer than in the arms of those he loved, and it was that fact that made him sob harder. He truly felt safe with them. He finally felt safe after years and years of being under the impression that safety was for the weak and for those who believed they could not protect themselves.

And yet that was exactly how Obi-Wan felt with his friends around him. He felt that he couldn’t protect himself, that he needed help in order to be the best person he could be. Forget what the Sith said about safety, this was nice. This felt right for once, and Obi-Wan didn’t ever want his friends to let go of him.

“Obi-Wan…” Qui-Gon was saying his name over and over, trying to get his attention, and he finally got it with Obi-Wan wiping his eyes dry and looking up at the three around him. Qui-Gon smiled and pulled his padawan closer to him. “There we go, you’re okay. There’s nothing for you to fear, my young padawan.”

Obi-Wan buried his face in his master’s chest. “Master… I’m sorry I’m not a good padawan. I try so hard to be, but I always trip and fall right when I think I’m doing well. I hate it… I want to be good for once.”

“Obi-Wan, you are the best padawan I have ever had. You come from a bad background, yes, but that does not make you a bad person. You are a good person. You always have been.”

Tears blurred Obi-Wan’s vision once more. _No, I’ve not always been a good person. You don’t know about the things I’ve done._

Luminara was hugging him tight in the next instant, and so was Quinlan. His two best friends… they cared about him so much when they had no right to. He was more grateful for them than he realized as he hugged them back, holding them tight so he didn’t lose them to the Dark.

“We care about you so much, Obi,” Luminara was saying, then whispering, “I love you…”

Obi-Wan sniffed and leaned closer to her. “I love you too,” he whispered back. “Please don’t leave me.”

“Never. I promise.”

The two padawans smiled at each other for a bit, enjoying the simple ability to just take each other in and be calm.

And that was when chaos suddenly broke out on Mandalore.

People screaming, running for their lives in their fancy ball gowns and well pressed suits and stuffy clothes. Bright explosions filled the night sky, echoing off the large domes so loud that Obi-Wan had to cover his ears once more.

“Master Plo, what’s going on in there?!” Quinlan had a com link up to his mouth, his lightsaber ignited and ready to swing into action, his eyes wide at the growing chaos.

“There’s been a terrorist attack,” Plo said, his voice coming in patchy through the link. “I need help in here!”

“Master!” Luminara ignited her lightsaber and rushed towards the noise and confusion, his expression suddenly turning lethal. Obi-Wan had never seen her like that before…

He wanted to run after her, but Quinlan put his large hand on his chest to stop him. “I’ll follow her, Obi. You stay with your master.” And with those last words he was chasing after her, more explosions going off all around them.

Movement caught the corner of Obi-Wan eye, and he turned his head quickly to look up. Twin red ‘sabers glowed in the night among the explosions, and Obi-Wan knew those lightsabers immediately. However, as soon as he tried to get Qui-Gon to look, the lightsabers were gone, along with the man who owned them. Obi-Wan growled and took chase to the man, jaw tight and eyes wide, the red tint returning to the edge of his vision. Force save him from being exposed in front of his master…

“Obi-Wan! Where are you going?” Qui-Gon followed his padawan through the explosions that kept going off. He didn’t know what Obi-Wan had seen, but if it was related to the attack, Qui-Gon was not about to tell Obi-Wan to stop because it was too dangerous.

Through explosions and empty hallways they ran, never stopping and lightsabers out, ready for battle. Through so many empty rooms they went, and yet they did not find the man who Obi-Wan was sure was responsible for the attack. There was no hint of where he might have gone, and then there was a scream from one of the rooms nearby.

The future duchess’s room.

Obi-Wan’s eyes widened as he ran faster in that direction. He had to save Satine, even if it meant  him losing his life to do it. The duchess was more important than he was. She needed to be alive at the end of the night.

“Help me! Someone!” Satine’s screams echoed down the long hallways. Thankfully she kept screaming, for Obi-Wan was soon at her door, or at least as close as he could get. In front of the door were a few fallen beams, flames burning bright around them.

Feeling himself start to panic, Obi-Wan took a few steps back as the flames reached for him. They brought back unpleasant memories of his days back under the guidance of Dooku. He froze, the flames reaching for him once more, threatening to take him back and scar him like Dooku had. He dared not move. If he didn’t move, he wouldn’t get hurt, or at least it wouldn’t hurt as much.

“Obi-Wan, what are you doing?! Move!”

Not even Qui-Gon’s voice brought him out of his trance. Not the beams being pushed to the side with the use of the Force, not Satine falling into the arms of the Jedi Master, not Satine’s voice, nothing brought him out of his trance. He was alone and breathing hard, breathing in the smoke that singed his lungs, that closed in on him and trapped him in the past, visions of a future in which he did not obey his orders to carry out the Sith’s plan, a future that left him broken and bloodied and abandoned.

He cried out. Something was burning him. The flames. _The flames!_

They touched him, they burned him, they caused him so much pain he couldn’t stand to take it any longer. He wanted freedom. He wanted to be free from both the Sith and the Jedi. He wanted to go home, to go back to Stewjon and embrace his parents, feel their love once more, feel their arms around him as he silently cried.

Love was all he wanted.

And he had never felt it in his time with the Sith.

The flames burned brighter, the air grew thinner, yet Obi-Wan felt himself grow drawn to the fire. He took a step closer. Another step. The flames consumed him like fuel, and he felt a new sense of power run through his veins. No flames touched his delicate skin, no flames singed his Jedi tunics. He had them in his power. He controlled them, so they obeyed him and didn’t touch him. His vision was tinted red at the edges, then slightly gold in the center. Were his eyes turning fully now? What would he do if he was caught with them?

Obi-Wan panicked once more, and the flames were upon him like hungry dogs. He cried out terribly, shrieking as the pain took over his whole body. No escape, no escape, _there needs to be an escape!_

Strong hands grabbed him, pulled him out of the flames, tossed him on the ground away from the danger he had walked right into. How stupid he felt… walking right into a fire was never a smart thing to do, and yet he did it. He had willingly walked right into it, and now the pain was so intense he wasn’t sure how much longer he could stay awake. He was sure there were burns all over his body, but now he didn’t care. His mind ran to other ideas, other plans, the master plan, the grand scheme of the Sith. He knew what he had to do now, and it took walking into a fire for him to learn it.

“Obi-Wan! Can you hear me? Answer me!”

Qui-Gon’s voice sounded so distant. So did Satine’s. Did he hear Quinlan and Luminara too? Everything was so fuzzy, he couldn’t tell. He could not distinguish kind touches from the flames’ touches on his skin. Everything hurt, everything was numb. He just wanted to sleep. _Leave me alone and let me sleep._

“Someone go get a medic!”

“Hang in there, Obi-Wan…”

Finally a voice he could recognize fully, “Luminara…”, along with the feeling of soft lips on his own.

“Please be okay, Obi…”

Blackness overtook Obi-Wan, and the pain faded from his body as he entered a relaxed state. The flames had burned him, yes, but he had emerged from the fire stronger than before, a new motive in mind, a new reason to do his job correctly.

Obi-Wan Kenobi now had a mission, and he was going to carry it out with his own will on his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey howdy hey I'm back and with a working computer again! This chapter is a little shorter than the ones I normally write, but I hope you all are still enjoying the story. Love you guys <3


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